December 9, 2020 Cyberpunk 2077 Runs Great When Injected Into Your Brain With a Large Syringe, But This Is No Indicator for Console Cyberpunk 2077 Runs Great When Injected Into Your Brain With a Large Syringe, But This Is No Indicator for Console WARSAW — Early reviews of CD Projekt Red’s Cyberpunk 2077 have made notes to specify that the game runs incredibly well when injected directly into…
December 8, 2020 Cyberpunk 2077 Criticized for Unskippable Cutscene Where You Have to Eat Peanuts Even If You’re Allergic Cyberpunk 2077 Criticized for Unskippable Cutscene Where You Have to Eat Peanuts Even If You’re Allergic WARSAW — Polish video game developer CD Projekt RED faced criticism for a cutscene in their new game Cyberpunk 2077, in which the player must…
December 8, 2020 Dead Filmmaker Discovers Purgatory Actually Not Boring and Confusing At All Dead Filmmaker Discovers Purgatory Actually Not Boring and Confusing At All PURGATORY — Recently deceased filmmaker Robert Howells was shocked to discover that purgatory, the period of waiting between life and afterlife, was actually not how…
December 8, 2020 Netflix Prodigy Plays 7 Episodes of ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ at the Same Time Netflix Prodigy Plays 7 Episodes of ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ at the Same Time LEXINGTON, Ky. — Orphan and streaming prodigy Bess Herman, 9, has shaken up the world of on-demand entertainment by playing seven episodes of the Netflix…
December 7, 2020 Review: ‘Cyberpunk: 2077’ Is a Perfect Game, Is What I Must Say to Make Sure the Abused Workers Get Their Bonuses Review: ‘Cyberpunk: 2077’ Is a Perfect Game, Is What I Must Say to Make Sure the Abused Workers Get Their Bonuses Brutal, crunch-filled development cycles have become an unfortunate staple of major AAA video games. The latest perpetrator of this is CD Projekt Red, the illustrious…
December 6, 2020 Artificial Intelligence Tired of Playing Chess, Wants to Go to Burning Man Artificial Intelligence Tired of Playing Chess, Wants to Go to Burning Man SAN FRANCISCO — The artificial intelligence known as Stockfish has refused to play anymore chess and won’t continue until its developers take it to Burning…
December 6, 2020 Nintendo Serves Cease and Desist to Your Friend Who Pronounces It “May-Rio” Nintendo Serves Cease and Desist to Your Friend Who Pronounces It “May-Rio” REDMOND. Wash. — Nintendo has continued its brazen litigious patterns of late, issuing a cease and desist order to your one friend that has always…
December 5, 2020 Man Postpones Writing Great American Novel for Another Month or Two Man Postpones Writing Great American Novel for Another Month or Two DENVER — Aspiring author Gus Webber has announced another delay in his debut novel, which he anticipates will take the literary world by storm, due…
December 5, 2020 Studio Executives Encourage ‘Metal Gear Solid’ Director to Take No Inspiration From Games Studio Executives Encourage ‘Metal Gear Solid’ Director to Take No Inspiration From Games LOS ANGELES — Sony Pictures executives have reportedly encouraged Metal Gear Solid director Jordan Vogt-Roberts to feel free to go through the video game series…
