August 5, 2017 Streaming Pioneer: My Older Brother Forced me to Watch Him Play Video Games a Decade Ago Streaming Pioneer: My Older Brother Forced me to Watch Him Play Video Games a Decade Ago There’s been a lot of talk lately about the growing phenomenon of e-sports and streamers. Tens of thousands of users are tuning in to watch…
August 4, 2017 TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues ANAHEIM, Calif. — A promising pair of AA Bexels were promoted to work in an Xbox One controller after a successful several-month tenure powering a…
August 3, 2017 Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats after being delivered in a…
August 2, 2017 Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend their “positivity” token to play…
August 1, 2017 D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
July 31, 2017 The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…
July 31, 2017 World’s Oldest Gamer? This Man Was Reportedly Born January 1, 1900 World’s Oldest Gamer? This Man Was Reportedly Born January 1, 1900 DUBUQUE, Iowa — A previously unknown supercentenarian has been discovered and it turns out he’s an avid gamer, sources say. Representatives from EA, Rockstar Games,…
July 29, 2017 NSA Denies Watching Your Half of Screen NSA Denies Watching Your Half of Screen WASHINGTON – National Security Agency Director Michael S. Rogers released an official statement today denying all accusations that the NSA has been watching your half…
July 28, 2017 Nintendo Commits to Fully Develop, Promote, and Cancel Three New EarthBound Titles Nintendo Commits to Fully Develop, Promote, and Cancel Three New EarthBound Titles REDMOND, Wash. — In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime revealed Nintendo’s upcoming plans to fully develop, promote, and cancel three…
