February 8, 2021 Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass EDMONTON — Following negative responses to their initial statement, a Bioware press release has revealed their new decision to imprint a disclaimer on Miranda’s butt…
February 8, 2021 Blade Plumber Blade Plumber In the newest episode of The Hard Drive Podcast, Mark and Jeremy write an entire episode of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show from scratch!…
February 7, 2021 Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than when someone loads up the…
February 6, 2021 Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot, Mario will soon be dead…
February 5, 2021 Taco Bell Announces Just a Big Plastic Cup of Orange Goop Taco Bell Announces Just a Big Plastic Cup of Orange Goop NEW YORK — A flustered public relations representative from Taco Bell called a televised press conference this morning to discuss recent menu changes, including the…
February 4, 2021 Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power NEW YORK — CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan accidentally vaporized intern Kris Smythe in a livestream demonstration of the PlayStation 5 this morning,…
February 3, 2021 Guy Afraid to Tell Coworkers His Salary Because He’s Paid in Trident Layers Gum Guy Afraid to Tell Coworkers His Salary Because He’s Paid in Trident Layers Gum BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local accountant Owen Yates is reportedly afraid to reveal his salary to his coworkers because of the fact that he is paid…
February 2, 2021 I Can’t Wait to Start Whackin’ Off All Day I Can’t Wait to Start Whackin’ Off All Day Hello gamers! By now you’ve probably read from a dozen different outlets that I have decided to step down as CEO of Amazon. All of…
February 2, 2021 Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale BELLEVUE, Wash. — Online video game retailer Steam has announced an eerily particular sale, seemingly curated exclusively around games you used to play with Molly…
