May 2, 2021 Bomberman Randomly Selected for Additional Airport Screening Bomberman Randomly Selected for Additional Airport Screening NEW YORK — Local explosives enthusiast Bomberman has accused the TSA of unfair profiling, after being detained for additional screening at LaGuardia Airport this morning.…
April 29, 2021 Hyrule Pottery Store Investigated for Insurance Fraud After IRS Discovers Teen Smashing Pots on Their Payroll Hyrule Pottery Store Investigated for Insurance Fraud After IRS Discovers Teen Smashing Pots on Their Payroll HYRULE — A local pottery shop has been put under audit by the Internal Revenue Service due to an alleged tax fraud scheme, in which…
April 28, 2021 Highly Anticipated Game Comes Down With a Sudden Case of ‘Crafting System’ Highly Anticipated Game Comes Down With a Sudden Case of ‘Crafting System’ OSAKA, Japan — Capcom’s announcement that the highly anticipated Resident Evil Village will include a robust crafting system has fans double-guessing their excitement, according to…
April 27, 2021 Gamer Increases Odds of Tinder Match by Holding Down-B While Swiping Gamer Increases Odds of Tinder Match by Holding Down-B While Swiping ATHENS, Ohio — Single gamer Evan Hughes reportedly believes that holding down and B while swiping on Tinder increases his chances of getting an automatic…
April 26, 2021 CD Projekt Red Announces Cyberpunk 2077: A Game of the Year Edition CD Projekt Red Announces Cyberpunk 2077: A Game of the Year Edition WARSAW — CD Projekt Red announced that a new, definitive version of Cyberpunk 2077 is coming this fall, titled Cyberpunk 2077: A Game of the…
April 25, 2021 Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen SILENT HILL, Maine — The Silent Hill city council has decided that their numerous decaying schools and decrepit amusement parks will be reopened to the…
April 23, 2021 Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up GENOSHA — Brotherhood of Mutants leader Magneto has vowed revenge on humanity for designing credit cards that are destroyed by magnets, making it impossible for…
April 23, 2021 Review: PS5 Undeniably Best Way to Play PS5 Games Review: PS5 Undeniably Best Way to Play PS5 Games The console wars are still a reality in the gaming world. Every year people rely on impartial reviewers to tell them which piece of hardware…
April 22, 2021 Vaccinated Gamer Unlocks ‘Social Gathering’ Skill Tree Vaccinated Gamer Unlocks ‘Social Gathering’ Skill Tree NEW YORK — Local gamer Caroline Silva unlocked the ‘social gathering’ skill tree on her abilities menu exactly two weeks after receiving her second Moderna…
