March 29, 2019 Every Child Needs a Strong Father Figure Who Can Protect Them With Their Big, Powerful Eggs Every Child Needs a Strong Father Figure Who Can Protect Them With Their Big, Powerful Eggs With the family dynamic becoming more fluid in recent years, it’s important that we take a step back and accept reality when it comes to…
March 28, 2019 It’s-a No Fun Being-a Me: My-a Life With Super Mario Speech Disorder It’s-a No Fun Being-a Me: My-a Life With Super Mario Speech Disorder Since I was-a just a boy, I have been-a the only known patient with-a what psychologists have dubbed Super Mario Speech Disorder. My-a life is…
March 28, 2019 Harry Potter Now Receiving Donation Requests From Hogwarts Harry Potter Now Receiving Donation Requests From Hogwarts LONDON — ‘The Boy Who Lived’ and now-famous Auror Harry Potter has reportedly been inundated by donation request owls from his alma mater, Hogwarts School…
March 21, 2019 Opinion: It’s Time for Gamers to Unionize Opinion: It’s Time for Gamers to Unionize There’s a real problem in the game industry. Since its inception, one underrepresented group of people has gradually become abused, taken advantage of, and mistreated…
March 19, 2019 I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until I learned that Bernie Sanders…
March 17, 2019 Honoring an Irish Icon: Fox McCloud Honoring an Irish Icon: Fox McCloud Today, for St Patrick’s Day, we want to honor the video games world’s most Irish character of all: Fox McCloud. You may know him from…
March 6, 2019 Bullshit: All the Girls in ‘Dead or Alive’ Are Alive Bullshit: All the Girls in ‘Dead or Alive’ Are Alive I’ve never picked up a Dead of Alive game before, but it’s impossible to escape the flurries of controversy around the game each time a…
February 28, 2019 Opinion: Missile Upgrade Better Be Worth All This Bullshit Opinion: Missile Upgrade Better Be Worth All This Bullshit It’s been a week now that I’ve been stranded here on planet QV9978 and I’m up to my eyeballs in bullshit. Supplies are running low,…
February 21, 2019 Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House After days of practice and preparation, my teammates finally reached the mountaintop and got our first squad win. However, because I disagree with the politics…
