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D&D, dnd, dungeons and dragons, pathfinder, podcast

There’s a point in every nerd’s life when they think about making a Dungeons & Dragons podcast. First, you’re jokingly discussing it with your friends after watching Stranger Things. Next thing you know, you’re pirating Pro Tools and scouring the Monster Manual for puns. 

While this can be very exciting, I urge you to please consider adopting an unwanted D&D podcast instead of starting your own.

Did you know there are hundreds of thousands of unwanted D&D podcasts out there waiting to be listened to? This year alone, a record-breaking 75,000 were created, which far exceeds the capacity of friends and family available to lie about listening to them. When you adopt, you’re helping those who need it most: four to six white dudes — who recorded themselves with a single iPhone or cheap Blue Yeti — bumbling through the fifth edition starter set. Without your compassion, these podcasts will never get a chance to develop into meaningful creative expression or be sponsored by Squarespace.

On top of that, podcast rescuing is so rewarding. I should know — I personally listen to over 100 D&D podcasts a week, and the three hours of sleep I get per night are blissful knowing I saved all these poor boys. Sure, it can be hard work, like when I have to listen to a bard seduce an audibly uncomfortable DM for the thirtieth time in seven days, but I have no regrets. When you play your adopted podcast and hear the inane banter of five guys who were told they were funny once, you’ll be asking yourself, “who rescued who?”

I know what you’re thinking. These podcasts seem like the ones nobody wants, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The inconsistent character voices will always make you wonder who’s talking — what a way to keep things fresh! The scratchy, low-quality audio is perfect for keeping you awake on long drives. And don’t worry about the multiple, unedited, 30-minute arguments about if skill checks can crit. That’s just how abandoned podcasts show affection to their forever listener! 

In the end, creating your own D&D podcast is selfish when there are so many existing shows out there who struggle to find a home. Do the compassionate thing and save the life of a friend group who thought Saving Bros was the most hilarious name in the world.

Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!