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SARATOGA SPRINGS, Fla. — Local sources report that Mom has been excited to call you, as she learned about one of those video games you like, called Minecraft.

“Your nephew was playing this game, Minecraft. I thought of you as soon as I saw it,” Mom said, barely containing her glee. “It’s this gigantic, magical world, and everything is shaped like a square. He–he built this whole house, from the ground up, by collecting all sorts of rocks and wood and things. He had a pickaxe and everything. I don’t really know how it works, but you can play with other people from all over the world,” she added, pausing to catch her breath, “and there are baby animals, which is just too sweet, don’t you think?”

When asked to comment, your nephew was happy to corroborate Mom’s story.

“You should have seen her. She did a full pogchamp when I showed her my all-diamond mansion in the Five Nights at Freddy’s Server I host. She literally ran to the phone to call you. I’ll admit — it’s a little cute,” said your nephew, 10, sipping apple juice in the kitchen. “She’s clearly trying to relate to you on a personal level, even though she thinks she’s being current regarding a game that came out literally before I was born. What’s she gonna hear about next, ‘this hilarious band called LMFAO?’” 

According to those familiar with the situation, Dad was not as enthralled with the wildly popular series that’s been topping sales charts for the last decade.

“I don’t understand it,” Dad said, briefly wrestling the phone receiver from Mom’s hands. “Your nephew spends all of his free hours on the computer playing this game. He has four monitors. Four! No kid needs that much screen time. And here’s your mother, enabling him because she’s so enamored with these damn cubes. This… this isn’t what you’ve been doing when you play those ‘video games’ of yours, is it? Please tell me it’s not.”

Mom later ended the call by offering to send you a copy for your Nintendo.