May 7, 2018 Half of PUBG Players Disappear as Thanos Arrives in Fortnite Half of PUBG Players Disappear as Thanos Arrives in Fortnite Following Epic Games’ announcement of tomorrow’s Infinity War themed update to their smash hit Fortnite, fifty percent of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds users have reportedly vanished from…
May 5, 2018 Favored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States Away Favored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States Away ADAIR, Okla. — Fans at today’s 114th Kentucky Derby were reportedly confused and terrified as they watched Justify, a favorite to win, get sucked into…
May 3, 2018 Review: ‘Superman the Ride’ Adds Nothing to Mythology Review: ‘Superman the Ride’ Adds Nothing to Mythology From Star Tours to T2 3-D: Battle Across Time, major theme park licensing deals can provide fresh new narratives for beloved properties. Six Flags’ so-called…
May 2, 2018 Netflix Breathes Sigh of Relief as Iron Fist Disintegrates During Infinity War Finale Netflix Breathes Sigh of Relief as Iron Fist Disintegrates During Infinity War Finale LOS ANGELES — Netflix executives were reportedly relieved to discover that Iron Fist had disintegrated during the finale of Marvel’s new film Avengers: Infinity War.…
April 27, 2018 Daredevil Reportedly Too Busy Stopping Bodega Shoplifter to Help Fight Thanos Daredevil Reportedly Too Busy Stopping Bodega Shoplifter to Help Fight Thanos NEW YORK — The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, a masked vigilante known as Daredevil, was reportedly too busy fighting a shoplifter to join humanity’s last…
April 24, 2018 New Spider-Man Game Probably Won’t Draw From Arc Where Norman Osborn Impregnated a Teenager New Spider-Man Game Probably Won’t Draw From Arc Where Norman Osborn Impregnated a Teenager BURBANK, Calif. — While details are unknown as to which comic books inspired the story for the new PlayStation 4 Spider-Man game by Insomniac Games,…
April 23, 2018 Report: Man Would Understand If He Had Read the Manga Report: Man Would Understand If He Had Read the Manga TOWSON, Md. — Sources in the Baltimore anime community have confirmed that supposed Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody fan John Gardner would not be…
April 17, 2018 Gotham Hospital Begs Batman to Consider Killing Gotham Hospital Begs Batman to Consider Killing GOTHAM CITY, N.J. — Administrators of Gotham General Hospital have issued a statement to the city’s famed vigilante crusader, imploring him to reconsider his stance…
April 13, 2018 Aging Anime Fan Needs Viagra to Maintain Nosebleeds Aging Anime Fan Needs Viagra to Maintain Nosebleeds BERKELEY, Calif. — Middle-aged anime fan Nick Klempf has accepted that at this point in his life, he no longer can produce nosebleeds without the…
