August 27, 2018 Kevin Smith Reveals Shocking Transformation Into Poorly Dressed Thin Man Kevin Smith Reveals Shocking Transformation Into Poorly Dressed Thin Man LOS ANGELES — Cult filmmaker Kevin Smith posted several pictures on his Twitter account yesterday that revealed he has lost fifty pounds and retained his…
August 22, 2018 Scarlett Johansson Cast as First Black James Bond Scarlett Johansson Cast as First Black James Bond LOS ANGELES — MGM Studios announced today that Scarlett Johansson has been cast to play the first black James Bond, taking a groundbreaking new direction…
August 18, 2018 New Study Into Hogwarts House-Sorting Practices Reveals Stark Racial Bias New Study Into Hogwarts House-Sorting Practices Reveals Stark Racial Bias SCOTLAND — A new study into the decision-making involved in sorting Hogwarts students into housing, which is done by a committee of one sentient hat,…
August 15, 2018 Breaking: You Just Lost The Game Breaking: You Just Lost The Game NEW YORK — New reports are coming in that reveal that you, as a result of reading this very article about local resident Kate Sanford…
August 10, 2018 Avoiding Controversy: Players in Madden 19 Do Not Have Knees Avoiding Controversy: Players in Madden 19 Do Not Have Knees MAITLAND, Fl. — In a major change for the incredibly successful series, player avatars in Madden 19 will reportedly feature legs without knees, a response…
August 5, 2018 Tom Holland Accidentally Spoils Exact Date Of Robert Downey Jr’s Death Tom Holland Accidentally Spoils Exact Date Of Robert Downey Jr’s Death LOS ANGELES — Spider-Man actor Tom Holland posted a video on Instagram today that accidentally spoiled the exact date on which fellow Marvel actor Robert…
July 28, 2018 Desperate MoviePass CEO Responding to All Nigerian Prince Emails Desperate MoviePass CEO Responding to All Nigerian Prince Emails NEW YORK — Seeing his company’s stock price plummet and app temporarily taken down Thursday night due to running out of capital funds, MoviePass CEO…
July 27, 2018 Final Warped Tour to End With Guy on Stage Holding Phone Playing ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2’ Soundtrack on YouTube Final Warped Tour to End With Guy on Stage Holding Phone Playing ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2’ Soundtrack on YouTube WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — The storied Vans Warped Tour is set to end their final show by having some dude stream the Tony Hawk’s…
July 26, 2018 Breaking With Tradition: Pope Francis Unveils Extensive Vatican Hentai Collection Breaking With Tradition: Pope Francis Unveils Extensive Vatican Hentai Collection VATICAN CITY — Tens of thousands of tourists from around the world are flocking to Vatican City to bear witness to the historic opening of the long…
