March 19, 2019 Scientists Create Giant Sentient Ass in Lab to Replace Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn Scientists Create Giant Sentient Ass in Lab to Replace Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn LOS ANGELES — Scientists at Los Angeles’ Hollywood Star Replacement Laboratories (HSRL) have revealed their latest breakthrough this week in the form of a lab-grown,…
March 15, 2019 James Gunn Rehired by Marvel in Unprecedented Victory For White Men James Gunn Rehired by Marvel in Unprecedented Victory For White Men LOS ANGELES — Disney has reinstated James Gunn as writer/director on Marvel’s upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, finally giving white men everywhere an…
March 12, 2019 7 Captain Marvel Easter Eggs You Missed Because You’re a Dumb Stupid Idiot. You Moron. You Disgust Me 7 Captain Marvel Easter Eggs You Missed Because You’re a Dumb Stupid Idiot. You Moron. You Disgust Me 1 – Stan Lee was rehearsing his lines from the movie Mallrats Are you fucking kidding me with this?! You claim to be a comic…
March 11, 2019 Struggling Barnes & Noble Adds Hentai Section Behind Beaded Curtain Struggling Barnes & Noble Adds Hentai Section Behind Beaded Curtain NEW YORK — Barnes & Noble announced today that they will be adding a backroom hentai section to their stores in an effort to boost…
March 10, 2019 Middle School Student Arrested After Attempted Kamehameha Actually Works Middle School Student Arrested After Attempted Kamehameha Actually Works CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — According to eyewitness accounts at McCallister Middle School yesterday afternoon, middle school student Tommy Parker was arrested after he tried to do…
March 8, 2019 Rising Rent Forces Daredevil to Become the Devil of East Williamsburg Rising Rent Forces Daredevil to Become the Devil of East Williamsburg BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Rising rents in the Manhattan neighborhood of Hell’s Kitchen have forced the vigilante known as Daredevil to relocate to the much more…
March 7, 2019 We Got an Advanced Copy of MLB The Show 19 But None of Us Are Really Sports People We Got an Advanced Copy of MLB The Show 19 But None of Us Are Really Sports People Sony Interactive Entertainment was kind enough to send our staff a copy of their upcoming game MLB The Show 19 for review, but we didn’t…
March 6, 2019 Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog RUMIA, Poland — At the ninth annual Gdakon Con, furries came from all over the world to fuck each other while dressed as animals and…
March 5, 2019 Tragic: Distant Aliens Just Now Receiving Radio Waves of Bad Simpsons Episodes Tragic: Distant Aliens Just Now Receiving Radio Waves of Bad Simpsons Episodes WASHINGTON — Astrophysicists from the NASA confirmed that radio waves of the bad The Simpsons seasons are beginning to reach distant planets for the first…
