June 22, 2021 Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers in an attempt to break…
June 21, 2021 Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local fantasy fan Geoffrey Parsons is reportedly worried that his A Song of Ice and Fire reread, in which he reads one…
June 6, 2021 Man Cryogenically Frozen in 2013 Probably Regretting Gangnam Style Pose Man Cryogenically Frozen in 2013 Probably Regretting Gangnam Style Pose ORLANDO, Fla. — Since being frozen at the Florida Cryonics Institute in 2013, local man Aaron Westfall has most likely come to regret his decision…
June 3, 2021 Twitch Bans Controversial Bathtub Streamer Twitch Bans Controversial Bathtub Streamer NEW YORK — In an apparent effort to re-categorize and regulate streaming content, Twitch has suspended the account of one of its well-known bathtub streamers,…
June 1, 2021 Tatooine Golf Course Sucks Tatooine Golf Course Sucks TATOOINE, O.R.T. — The sand planet Tatooine cut the ribbon on a new golf course that is already facing unanimous criticism from the community. Lin…
May 31, 2021 Review: Bo Burnham’s New Special Has a Joke About Gamers, Which Means We Can Write About It Review: Bo Burnham’s New Special Has a Joke About Gamers, Which Means We Can Write About It Bo Burnham’s quarantine comedy special Inside released on Netflix today and is a monumental look into a creative person’s deteriorating mental health while isolated during…
May 30, 2021 Deal Alert: You Can Own the Jacket from ‘Drive’ at the Small Cost of Being Known as ‘Guy Who Owns the Jacket From Drive’ Deal Alert: You Can Own the Jacket from ‘Drive’ at the Small Cost of Being Known as ‘Guy Who Owns the Jacket From Drive’ We have an incredible deal alert for fans of the 2011 film Drive! Samuel Walters, a self-described cinephile and avid Ryan Gosling fan, announced today…
May 28, 2021 Why Nobody in Hollywood Will Work With Gene Wilder Anymore Why Nobody in Hollywood Will Work With Gene Wilder Anymore Gene Wilder used to be one of Hollywood’s most promising comedic stars. Classics like Young Frankenstein and The Producers have been canonized in the comedy…
May 23, 2021 This $400 ‘Try Not to Cum’ Masterclass Dropped Its Price to $30 Today This $400 ‘Try Not to Cum’ Masterclass Dropped Its Price to $30 Today Trying Not to Cum is increasing in popularity, but folks coming into the hobby sometimes struggle with getting started. This new Masterclass, which is on…
