Entertainment

Marvel Announces ‘Dazzler’ Series Streaming Exclusively on McDonald’s Ordering KiosksMarvel Announces ‘Dazzler’ Series Streaming Exclusively on McDonald’s Ordering Kiosks

Marvel Announces ‘Dazzler’ Series Streaming Exclusively on McDonald’s Ordering Kiosks

LOS ANGELES — On the heels of well-received launches of Marvel shows on Netflix, Hulu and Freeform, Marvel revealed it…

7 years ago
New Co-Worker Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About ‘The Walking Dead’New Co-Worker Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About ‘The Walking Dead’

New Co-Worker Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About ‘The Walking Dead’

LOS ANGELES — Employees at local bar and arcade The Joy Stick reportedly find Griff Softwick, a new bartender who…

7 years ago
Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast MembersStar Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members

Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members

SEATTLE — Self-described male feminist Stephen Brassinger brought balance to a social media galaxy far far away by deciding to…

7 years ago
Every Person in Comic Book Store Thankful to be Only Normal OneEvery Person in Comic Book Store Thankful to be Only Normal One

Every Person in Comic Book Store Thankful to be Only Normal One

SALT LAKE CITY — All six patrons and two clerks in Salt Lake City’s Moonshot Comics Emporium reported they were…

7 years ago
Roseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch LeagueRoseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch League

Roseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch League

LOS ANGELES — After tweeting a racist comment to her 800,000 followers, Overwatch League has decided to give Roseanne Barr…

7 years ago
Movie Studios Get Into Bidding War Over Rights to Ruin ‘Saga’ AdaptationMovie Studios Get Into Bidding War Over Rights to Ruin ‘Saga’ Adaptation

Movie Studios Get Into Bidding War Over Rights to Ruin ‘Saga’ Adaptation

LOS ANGELES — Several major production studios are reportedly vying for the opportunity to make a sup-par film version of…

7 years ago
Teacher Unsure How to Write Up Student for Hentai Shirt Without Admitting He Knows What Hentai IsTeacher Unsure How to Write Up Student for Hentai Shirt Without Admitting He Knows What Hentai Is

Teacher Unsure How to Write Up Student for Hentai Shirt Without Admitting He Knows What Hentai Is

LANCASTER, Penn. — Manheim Township High School teacher David Siegel is reportedly not sure how to discipline Kyle Jackson, a…

7 years ago
PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in ApartmentPlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment

PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment

BROOKLYN, N.Y.  — Local twenty-six year old Darren Fitzgerald discovered recently that, in order to show off the CDs he’d…

7 years ago
Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want ToOpinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To

Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To

Listen up, you pathetic little nerdy fucklits: my name is George Raymond Richard Martin, and I’ll write whenever and whatever…

7 years ago