Entertainment

Programmers Closer to Building Sentient Robots than Understanding Plot of Westworld

CHERNSVILLE, Calif. — Artificial intelligence researchers at the Chernsville Institute of Technology (ChIT) announced that they are closer than ever…

6 years ago

God Resigns After Discovery of Old Testament

HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father…

6 years ago

DC Fan Practices Defending ‘Aquaman’ Movie in Mirror

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Several of local DC Extended Universe fan Shane Thorne’s roomates have confirmed that he has been practicing…

6 years ago

Fully Costumed Obama Pitches Netflix Execs on Blade Reboot

LOS GATOS, Calif. — Early yesterday morning, a sword-wielding Barack Obama interrupted a meeting of high-ranking Netflix executives while wearing…

6 years ago

WWE2K19: Special Edition to Include Full Refund

STAMFORD, Conn. — Several key details about this year’s WWE console title have been released, including an unprecedented refund being…

6 years ago

Drake Actually Wyvern

WINNIPEG, Canada — Cryptozoologists have stunned the world today with the announcement that Drake, chart-topping musician and Degrassi alumnus, is…

6 years ago

We Interviewed Skateboarding Legend Darth Maul

At the dawn of the millennium, Sith Lord Darth Maul made a name for himself as one of the most…

6 years ago

Democrats Fail to Block Donald Trump’s Nomination to the Supreme Court

WASHINGTON — Democrats in the Senate were unable to block President Trump’s replacement for departing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy,…

6 years ago

Boba Fett Movie Rumored to be 90 Minutes of Climbing Out of Sarlacc Pit in Real Time

LOS ANGELES — Although Disney has confirmed that the Boba Fett standalone film will be delayed, rumors are circulating that…

6 years ago