Entertainment

Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet

LOS ANGELES — Following the long awaited release of his highly anticipated extended cut of Justice League, a hubristic Zack…

4 years ago

Report: Guy You’ve Never Heard of Is Creep

NEW YORK — Following accusations from several women, some supposedly famous guy you’re just learning about for the first time…

4 years ago

Even Conspiracy Theorist Kinda Surprised How Right He’s Been Lately

LAS VEGAS — Conspiracy theorist Andrew Hawkins has recently been taken aback by how much he has gotten right in…

4 years ago

Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America

NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss…

4 years ago

Gamer Looking to Save the World Regrettably Recruited by United States Military

MODESTO, Calif. — Local gamer Martin Long, 22, has reportedly joined the United States military after being inspired to save…

4 years ago

Disney Announces Next Marvel Show ‘Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free to Film Next Tuesday’

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney has announced Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free To Film Next Tuesday, a new Marvel show that…

4 years ago

Opinion: The MCU Needs Some Sort of Funny English Character Whose Name is Mr. Bean

It’s no secret that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is running out of good characters. Moon Knight? Shang-Chi? Professor X? Who…

4 years ago

Review: The ‘Snyder Cut’ Is Whatever We Already Decided About It Before It Came Out

The wait is finally over. Zack Snyder’s long-anticipated redo of 2018’s Justice League, dubbed the “Snyder Cut,” is finally out…

4 years ago

Man Gets 4 Episodes Into WandaVision Before Realizing He’s Actually Watching Frasier

MADISON, Wisc. — Local Marvel fan and notorious dumbass Bailey Lynch was reportedly bamboozled into watching multiple episodes of 1993's…

4 years ago