Entertainment

Psychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot CardsPsychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot Cards

Psychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot Cards

MIAMI — Claiming her client was clearly cheating the fates, local psychic Madame LeMystique beat the shit out of her…

5 years ago
Inspiring: This Nerd Took to His Balcony to Keep Shouting About ‘The Last Jedi’Inspiring: This Nerd Took to His Balcony to Keep Shouting About ‘The Last Jedi’

Inspiring: This Nerd Took to His Balcony to Keep Shouting About ‘The Last Jedi’

SEATTLE —  As a nation shelters inside its homes amidst the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, one opinionated citizen inspired many by…

5 years ago
Children’s Cartoon Not Reaching Intended Audience of Queer Twenty-SomethingsChildren’s Cartoon Not Reaching Intended Audience of Queer Twenty-Somethings

Children’s Cartoon Not Reaching Intended Audience of Queer Twenty-Somethings

LOS ANGELES — Creators of the new hit cartoon Starlight Mountain recently expressed disappointment that, despite high ratings among toddlers,…

5 years ago
Opinion: The Only Way to Defeat Sauron is to Let Him Take Over Your Body and Rule Your CityOpinion: The Only Way to Defeat Sauron is to Let Him Take Over Your Body and Rule Your City

Opinion: The Only Way to Defeat Sauron is to Let Him Take Over Your Body and Rule Your City

Let me start this off by saying that I despise Sauron as much as the rest of you. Sauron is…

5 years ago
Opinion: Dragon Ball Z Is a Turn-Based Fighting ShowOpinion: Dragon Ball Z Is a Turn-Based Fighting Show

Opinion: Dragon Ball Z Is Turn-Based Fighting Show

As television becomes more fractured and confusing in the new decade, it’s important to take a step back and recategorize…

5 years ago
Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is GoodDark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good

Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good

OXFORD, England — Devoted fans of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series have hypothesized that the multiverse contained in the…

5 years ago
Christopher Walken Swears His Fever Is Just for More CowbellChristopher Walken Swears His Fever Is Just for More Cowbell

Christopher Walken Swears His Fever Is Just for More Cowbell

LOS ANGELES — Actor Christopher Walken announced today that his 102 degree fever was simply for more cowbell and had…

5 years ago
Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler ArcDad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc

Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc

BETHPAGE, N.Y. — After multiple failed attempts at connecting with his son, single father Frank Corbin has reportedly begun to…

5 years ago
Bartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His AgeBartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His Age

Bartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His Age

KNOWHERE, T.R. — A bartender at Starlin’s Bar was forced to cut a section of Groot, a beloved Guardian of…

5 years ago