Categories: Entertainment

AMC Reopens Theaters With Strict ‘No Outside Coronavirus’ Policy

ATLANTA — AMC Theatres announced today that they will begin reopening locations across Georgia as the state begins relaxing its restrictions on non-essential businesses. Additionally, a statement from AMC CEO Adam Aron said that theaters will be enforcing a new policy to prevent patrons from smuggling in coronavirus contracted outside of their theaters.

“Concession sales are the lifeblood of our industry, and it sets a dangerous precedent if customers are allowed to bring in contagions that we offer through contact with any of our employees or non-disinfected surfaces,” said Aron. “For patrons who don’t wish to contract COVID-19 in our theaters, we have an assortment of homemade face coverings available for purchase.”

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has praised AMC’s decision to reopen locations in his state, even suggesting that their “no outside coronavirus” policy could provide a useful template for other businesses struggling under this pandemic.

“We encourage all businesses to screen their customers for symptoms of coronavirus or any other infectious disease they may have brought from home,” Kemp said. “This mitigation will definitely help to offset whatever common sense safety guidelines we will be ignoring to get this economy humming again.”

In a recently televised segment, CNN chief medical correspondent and Atlanta resident Dr. Sanjay Gupta weighed in on AMC’s controversial reopening measures.

“Are these people insane? $8 bucks for a Vitamin Water, in this economy?! I’m probably the world’s biggest Martin Lawrence fan, but there is no way I’m taking my whole family to see ‘Bad Boys for Life’ in the theater when I can stay home, fire up Pirate Bay, and get coronavirus for free by chewing on this pen I stole from Chris Cuomo’s desk.”

As of press time, AMC is reportedly considering lifting their ban on coronavirus-infected patrons after securing two million servings of expired hydroxychloroquine from the Trump administration.

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour:

Jon Wood

Share
Published by
Jon Wood