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TULSA, Okla. — Local moviegoer Nick Hancock decided, as he sat in his seat to watch the new Nicolas Cage film Pig, that he would dislike the movie.

“It can be really difficult to form an opinion around a new movie that everybody’s talking about. That’s why I like to get a headstart and figure out if I’m going to like a film or dislike a film before seeing it,” Hancock explained. “That way, I can spend my time watching the movie figuring out how I can support my opinion on it. I know I’m going to be arguing a lot about any given movie both online and offline, so I want to make sure my decision about its quality is backed up! Ya know, if I have the time to see it.”

“People think that liking or disliking a movie is purely based on how you feel while watching it. Wrong,” Hancock continued. “Every time I hear about a movie, I run a basic algorithm in my head to decide whether or not it’s good. I have to consider all sorts of things, like, how do I feel about the people involved in this movie? Do my friends like this movie? How can I disagree with them over minor details to dismantle their whole argument about it? Does the girl I have a crush on like this movie? How can I prove to her that I have the correct opinions about pop culture? What are the politics of this movie? Do I agree with them? What’s the general consensus on social media? Do I have a funny Letterboxd review for this film? What opinion on this movie will make me sound the smartest and most cultured? And so on, and so on.”

According to those familiar with the situation, Hancock’s method of formulating movie opinions is not particularly popular with his group of friends.

“I don’t watch movies with Nick anymore,” said his sister Courtney Hancock. “I’m done. I’m just out.”