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MUNICH — A forlorn customer at a local GameStop store was reportedly feeling ignored and unwanted after being left alone by employees for upwards of a minute, witnesses have confirmed. 

“I don’t understand, was it the way I answered one of the eight questions they greeted me with?” asked Mason Grant, choking back tears. “I mean, I get that they have to do that stuff, that’s why I try to be as polite as possible, even though every last question is like a nail to my brain. I must’ve come across as a total dickhead because no one has asked me about pre-ordering anything or even directed my attention to their current exciting sales for what feels like an eternity.”

The manager on duty at the time was troubled to hear Grant had been made to feel neglected and lonely. 

“Oh no, I was worried about that,” said Felix Meyer, the lone employee working at the time. “But they keep cutting hours around here, and I’m the only one on today. Between ringing up customers, making sure everyone knows about our totally sweet 2 for 1 deal on used games right now, answering the phone, and unpacking wave after wave of Funko Pop figures, I can get spread pretty thin. Please don’t tell corporate I said any of that. Tell them I love it here.” 

Representatives from GameStop defended their approach to retail, insisting that their process is designed to prevent incidents such as Grant’s desertion.

“We’ve been around a long time, and we know exactly what gamers want,” said Matt Malone, a spokesperson for GameStop. “And that is a constant badgering while they’re merely trying to explore our stores that are often no bigger than a shoebox. We know that a cornered, agitated customer is the one most likely to return to your stores for years and years, and we act accordingly with that information. I will not apologize for delivering a finely tuned customer service experience.” 

As of press time, Grant was being duped into joining GameStop’s PowerUp Rewards Pro program despite not having been in the store in 18 months.