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Awful news, Gamers. If you are at work please stop reading immediately because this article may be considered NOT SAFE.

Are you home and over 18? Okay…

Well it finally happened, the pervs and nasties out there on the web are trying to take away something pure that the gaming community has relied on for decades: loading. That’s right, some sicko Hugh Hefners-in-training have taken the word we use for when a game restores game data from a previous session, and corrupted it.

I’m not going to sugar-coat this for you. Thanks to an anonymous tipster I can confirm many are using the word “load” for the stuff that comes out of a man when he is done having sex. Disgusting!

And apparently it is something you “drop” or “shoot.” And while I love it when enemies DROP items or when we SHOOT the last boss from Half Life right in his alien brain, I would certainly never do that with a load. Loading is for things you love like your created parks in Tony Hawk.

Gamers and sex perverts have both been online since the beginning so it was only a matter of time for our paths to cross like this. And now I’m afraid it is time for war. What must ensure our gamer sons and gamer daughters can still safely save and load for years to come — even if that stuff mostly happens automatically now.

So fellow gamers, I hope you will join me in wiping this decadent corruption from the face of video games. Next time you hear a perv saying the word “load.” Ask them forcefully to please stop. Only then will our hobby be safe.

Until then, the only “load” I’ll be dropping is when I yank the memory card out of my vintage PlayStation One while it’s reading my save data for Wild Arms 2.