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Gamer Praises Replayability of Game He Played Exactly Once


SPRINGFIELD, Miss. — Local man Jonah Baker has been recommending hit stealth game Dishonored 2 to all of his friends and coworkers for its “high replayability” despite the fact that he has and will only ever play the game one time. 

“There’s a ton of stuff in the game that really encourages playing through more than once. Every level has so many different approaches to them, it’s crazy,” Baker said, despite the fact that he followed a guide for most levels, taking the exact same path as thousands of other players. “Plus, you get to make different dialogue choices that can change the way the story progresses, it even has alternate endings which I can’t wait to see on my next playthrough,” explained Jonah, referring to content in the game that he would only ever see through clips uploaded to YouTube. 

Baker’s have bought into his sales pitch for the game, however. His coworker Francis Springmeyer reported 

“I’ll definitely check the game out, it sounds right up my alley,” said Baker’s co-worker Francis Springmeyer, who would later forget the game existed when he went home that night, opting to play his 2,453rd round of Call of Duty: Warzone

Developers at Arkane Studios were reportedly pleased to hear about the glowing praise coming from Barker. 

“We’re really happy that players enjoy the options for replaying the game we worked so hard on. Implementing all the new game plus features took me an entire year of twelve hour workdays alone, so I’m glad so many got to enjoy it,” said programmer Charlotte Marie excitedly, unaware that data collected by the company showed only two percent of players ever even started a new game plus file. “It’s just so great to see my hard work enjoyed by so many!”

As of press time, Baker was heard waxing poetic about the numerous different combat builds you could try out, just weeks before he would permanently uninstall the game off his computer to make room for Arkane’s upcoming game Deathloop, which he will play for four hours and never finish.