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Friend Somehow Beating You at Game They Own


ALBANY, N.Y. — A shocking turn of events has resulted in you losing a game of Madden to your friend who owns the game and has logged many hours on it. 

“Wow man, tough break,” said Casey Ventura, your friend who first casually suggested playing the game before insisting on playing the game. “I could give you some pointers if you want. You really beat yourself when you give away all of your defenses like you do, if you want to know what I think. Come on, pick up the controller, I’ll show you what I’m talking about. You should really buy this game.” 

The hang out session with your friend originally had intended to be focused around something neither of you had played prior, before Ventura dropped several obvious hints about playing the newest installment of the long running NFL franchise. 

“We should totally play this, I’ll even pick a crappy team,” he said, before casually inquiring if you’d be interested in wagering on the outcome. “Come on bro, it’s ten bucks. I’m being the fucking Jets!”

Ventura’s roommate confirmed that he has refused to play anything aside from the Madden franchise since they moved in together. 

“We met online when I was looking for a place, and he said he was a lifelong gamer,” said Aaron Howells, who’s lived with Ventura for eight months. “Then one day I asked him about it and he showed me his ‘retro collection,’ which is literally just like old Madden games and shit. He’s so weird. He always says ‘Gamers like us,’ and stuff like that, but the other day I mentioned StarCraft and he asked me if it was a good movie. Dude just really only wants to play Madden.” 

As of press time, your friend was showing you how to reassign wide receiver’s routes in the moments leading up to the snap, as well as which button snapped the ball.