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LEAWOOD, Kan. â An irresponsible doctor reportedly wrote local man Dave LaRoix a prescription for a large health pack, even though a physical exam found LaRoix was at 98 HP, with depleted armor and minor chip damage.
âDonât get me wrong, I trust my doctor to make smart healthcare decisions on my behalf,â said LaRoix, whose 198% over-heal had yet to wear off at press time. âBut maybe this is overkill? I could have just called out of work for a few days and waited for it to replenish. And, like, there was a guy softly pulsing red in the waiting room who seemed like they needed it way more. Canât ever be too healthy, though, right?â
The doctorâs office defended its practices, touting its high standards of care even for clients that appear in near-perfect health.
âWhether youâre âoneâ or just âlit,â we take pride in ensuring that you leave our clinic feeling not just healthy, but unnecessarily healthy,â LaRoixâs physician Dr. Paige Howery said. âThereâs no firm evidence that large health packs are habit-forming, and even if they were, weâre prepared to meet that need head-on with even larger health packs.â
Dr. Howery has a reputation for over-the-top responses to minor bumps, scratches, and debuffs, other patients reported.
âShe brought me to a big spinning medkit, and I told her my health was already full, but sure, Iâd pick it up if she insisted,â said another former patient. âTurns out it gets consumed anyway, even if it does nothing, so that was a fun extra line item on my bill. Guess the place has to make money somehow, since she couldnât see any other patients until the pickup respawned.â
Upon discovering that LaRoixâs health insurance wouldnât cover him, the clinicâs billing department cancelled his refills and sent him home with a complimentary bonus ammo mag.