LOS ANGELES — Following the success of their Dwayne Johnson led film Jungle Cruise, Disney announced today that it will begin production soon on another film about one of their famous rides, this time based on Splash Mountain.
“We’ve always had tremendous success with movies based on Disneyland rides,” explained Walt Disney Company CEO Bob Chapek. “The Pirates of the Caribbean series was a runaway hit and The Tower of Terror is a very popular streaming choice around Halloween as well. I’m told we did some sort of a Tomorrowland movie with George Clooney, but I never got around to seeing it. Either way, it seems like a no-brainer than our next major release should be based on one of our most popular rides: Splash Mountain. Honestly, it’s pretty crazy to think we never did a movie about it in the first place!”
The news surprised animators with Walt Disney Studios, who seemed confused by Chapek’s comments.
“When I heard we were going to start working on a movie about Splash Mountain, I was a little wary,” animator Chuck McGrath explained. “I was sure we must have already done a movie based on this. The funny animals, the catchy songs, the racist undertones. Everything about it felt like a classic Disney movie. But nobody I talked to had seen any movie based on it and there was nothing on Disney Plus, so I guess not. I think audiences are really going to be excited to see what we come up with for this one. It has the potential to be as big as Meet the Robinsons!”
Disney Park fans rejoiced at the news, particularly those living near Walt Disney World in Florida.
“Finally, a Disney movie that doesn’t pander to the Hollywood elite,” cheered Floridian Jed Maclure. “My daughter came home from college last fall and told me Splash Mountain — my absolute most favorite ride — was problematic because it’s based on the racist Uncle Remus stories. I told her ‘you got a lot of racist uncles but ain’t one of em named Remus. It’s just a ride about a funny talkin rabbit in the good ole Antebellum days.’ If there’s some sort of issue, then I don’t care. That bunny makes me laugh.”
At press time, Walt Disney Pictures was expected to announce a cast for the upcoming Splash Mountain movie. Although fans have shown concern about the potential lack of characters of color, Disney quelled any fears by confirming that they have already cast Harry Shearer to voice all of them.