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Defeated Merriam-Webster Editor Adds ‘Chungus’ to Dictionary


SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Sullenly approving the final edits for publication before breaking out a package of Marlboro Reds for the first time in a decade, sources say that Merriam-Webster editor Harold Mason has defeatedly added the word “Chungus” to the dictionary, coworkers reported this morning. 

“For a while there I thought we were safe from adding any more stupid internet slang to the dictionary. But these zoomers keep adding slang so quickly that we have no choice but to stay relevant,” complained Mason. “Next thing I know I’m adding ‘Chungus, Noun: A rotund, rabbit-like creature,’ to our newest dictionary. I guess this will seem quaint when I eventually have to add ‘Sad Keanu’ or ‘Wholesome 100’ or some other bullshit internet slang. I hate my job.”

A contingent of Merriam-Webster staff have argued in favor of including “Chungus.”

“A lot of folks think that adding stupid meme words to the dictionary is bad, but I think it’s poggers,” said linguistics professor and Merriam-Webster consultant Aidy Bennet. “Frankly, I’m sick of seeing the same old lame-ass words like “shibboleth” and “mulct” in the dictionary every year. It’s time we also record important phrases like ‘360 No-scope’ as well. 

Bennet also noted that the addition of “Chungus” would likely get more young people interested in the dictionary.

“Merriam-Webster added Chungus? That’s based,” said high-school student Tommy Bayer. “It’s nice to see a company actually embrace Gen Z slang instead of condescending to us as usual. Dictionaries are still shit-tier, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

In response to the expected bump in dictionary sales, Merriam-Webster announced that they will hire the world’s top diachronic linguists to properly conjugate the verb “yeet.”