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Cosplayer Starting to Worry That Nobody at This Applebee’s Has Seen ‘Attack on Titan’


SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Local cosplayer Dennis Harrison experienced a crisis in a local Applebee’s on Wednesday, as he slowly came to the resignation that nobody there had ever seen the anime, Attack on Titan, that his costume was based on.

“So at first the waiter just kind of looked at me strangely while I ordered my Brunch Burger, and then went off to whisper to the manager and some other staff. I thought they were talking about how epic and accurate my cosplay was, but instead they came back and labeled me a ‘distraction’ and asked me to leave the restaurant,” Harrison said. “I told them they should really check out Attack on Titan, and explained how if they would just sit down and watch at least the whole first season this would be way less awkward, but they were adamant.”

Christina Meyers, lead server and hostess at the Springfield Applebees detailed her side of the story. 

“It’s not Halloween, there’s no convention going on, I cannot explain why this guy is in a stupid naked meat guy costume on a Wednesday evening. He clearly put on hours of wardrobe and makeup and then arrived to dine in at Applebees alone. It was kind of sad,” Meyers explained. “He kept asking me if I wanted to take a picture with him, and I kept shooting him down. From the looks of things, nobody in the whole building had seen his stupid Japanese show he kept blathering on about. When my shift ended I caught him crying in his car as intricate makeup streamed down his face.”

As of press time, Harrison has been banned permanently from all Applebee’s locations, but when asked what he is preparing to wear to New York Comic Con next month, he shrugged, and said, “jeans and a tee shirt, probably.”