Categories: Coil Exclusives

The Top 5 Comments on Hard Drive Articles This Week

After all that talk about ‘rising up,’ gamers finally did it. Eschewing hero shooters and fighters, we’re finally playing the ultimate competitive game: the stock market. And despite years of GameStop giving us five dollars maximum for used games, we’ve come to save them in theirWith the news out of the way, let’s focus on what I truly know inside and out: good comments. darkest hour. Of course, hedge funds and investment apps are trying to work together in order to save their hides, but if anyone is better at finding systemic exploits than the wealthy, it’s gamers with nothing but time on their hands. With the news out of the way, let’s focus on what I truly know inside and out: good comments.

If you ever find yourself in this situation, take it from me: drinking all of the alcohol in your inventory will not increase your charisma enough to get through the encounter. If you are going for speed, though, it is the quickest way to get the bad ending.

HEARTWARMING: These Gamers Set Up A Plastic “Hang Out Curtain” So That People Could Safely Watch Sonic Porn With Their Friends This Holiday Season

Christina, your comment is a lot of fun, but it is irresponsible of you to potentially inspire a sequel to Click in which Adam Sandler is a gamer. This is a public call for you to delete this before everyone opens up Netflix to see Sandler doing a Fornite dance and yelling “POGGERS.” I am begging you.

Hard Drive does not endorse attacking the elderly for healing items: you do not want to risk the last of your health and get a hard candy drop instead. The safest strategy is to sneak into the back of the Taco Bell and steal bandages that you can wrap around your arm every time you’re about to succumb.

Yes, it’s real.

Thank you so much for your comments, everybody. Remember, if you want a chance to be in next week’s column, be sure to leave a funny comment on any of our posts on social media!

 

Owen Crowlie

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Owen Crowlie