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Allow me to officially welcome you all to 2021. How are you feeling? Are you comfortable? Is the temperature good? I personally haven’t noticed any big changes myself, but maybe they’ll be more noticeable by the end of the day. While we wait to see what new features and fixes they made to the year, let’s read some fun comments from the community!

Detective: Excuse me sir, a murder was just commited in this building. Did you see anything?

Agent 47: (Pantomimes zipping his mouth up and shrugging)

Detective: We’re not gonna get anything of this guy. Thank you for your time, sir.

The snippet of America lore that still bothers me is the story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree. Would you ever feel safe around your son again if he took a hatchet and chopped down your property? Who gives a shit if he was lying or not? George Washington wasn’t afraid of getting caught, he was trying to send a message.

Are we really supposed to believe that this guy will make an offer that can’t be refused? Is that even possible? That’s not an offer, that’s a threat. This movie doesn’t make any sense at all. 

Ding!

We gather here today in memory of Glass Joe, a man who lost 99 fights but had one victory: a long life full of people who loved him, and supported him the 300 separate times he was hospitalized by people hitting him, intentionally or unintentionally. He is survived by his son Andre, whose conception left Joe so physically battered that he was still in the trauma ward when Andre was born. Alas, there is no glass here but our hearts, and I know they are all breaking.

Of course, as well as other new exciting features such as the  new ‘Hurricane’ weather effect, and ‘Eternal Summer Mode,’ which cannot be turned off.

Thank you so much to everybody who commented this week! If you want a chance to be featured in next week’s column, be sure to leave a comment on any of our posts across social media. Have a great week everyone!