January 27, 2022 Wrinkly Kong Wishes They Would Just Call Her “Grandma” or Something Wrinkly Kong Wishes They Would Just Call Her “Grandma” or Something DONKEY KONG ISLAND — Kong Family matriarch Wrinkly Kong expressed her desire this week for her family to retire her physically-observant name and maybe just…
November 17, 2021 New ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ Trailer Reveals That It’s Approved for All Audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. New ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ Trailer Reveals That It’s Approved for All Audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. LOS ANGELES — The latest trailer for Marvel’s upcoming Spider-Man: No Way Home has revealed a bombshell new development for the buzzy new installment: the…
November 5, 2021 What ‘The Eternals’ Post-Credits Scene Means for Me, Someone Who Really Has to Pee What ‘The Eternals’ Post-Credits Scene Means for Me, Someone Who Really Has to Pee By now, Marvel fans are accustomed to sticking around long after the credits roll, as any seasoned MCU-head knows the story doesn’t end when the…
August 31, 2021 Untitled Goose Game Village Still at 0% Vaccinated Untitled Goose Game Village Still at 0% Vaccinated UNTITLED VILLAGE — As vaccination rates continue to climb nationwide due to expanded eligibility and availability, local vaccination numbers have unfortunately remained steady at 0%,…
November 5, 2019 We Convinced Martin Scorsese the Skrulls Were a Metaphor for Italians and Now He’s Really Into Marvel We Convinced Martin Scorsese the Skrulls Were a Metaphor for Italians and Now He’s Really Into Marvel The great Martin Scorsese-Marvel feud has come to a close. After weeks of controversy amongst both the Marvel and film communities, the acclaimed director has…
September 25, 2019 ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie to Pick Up Right Where College Boyfriend’s Description of Show Left Off ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie to Pick Up Right Where College Boyfriend’s Description of Show Left Off CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. — Netflix just dropped the first full-length trailer for El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, a sequel film to AMC’s Emmy-winning series that…
August 20, 2019 Marvel Allowed Weekend and Holiday Visitation With Tom Holland Marvel Allowed Weekend and Holiday Visitation With Tom Holland LOS ANGELES — In a controversial move, Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios announced today the termination of their contract allowing the Spider-Man character to remain…
February 13, 2019 Farfetch’d Unsure How Much Longer He Can Convince People He’s a Pokemon and Not Just a Duck Holding a Leek Farfetch’d Unsure How Much Longer He Can Convince People He’s a Pokemon and Not Just a Duck Holding a Leek TALL GRASS, RT 39 — Farfetch’d confided to reporters this week that he is unsure how much longer he can hide the fact he is…
October 22, 2018 Nintendo Rebrands Original Game Boy as ‘Game Boy Thicc’ Nintendo Rebrands Original Game Boy as ‘Game Boy Thicc’ KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo president Tatsumi Kimishima announced today that Nintendo would be bringing back their beloved original Game Boy console, boldly renamed as Game…
