December 18, 2020 Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin Mary, the Incel Joseph or…
October 9, 2020 Alt Right Group Accidentally Kidnaps Michigan J. Frog Alt Right Group Accidentally Kidnaps Michigan J. Frog LANSING, Mich. — In a comic, but ultimately tragic mishap, a local alt-right militia group attempting to kidnap Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer has accidentally kidnapped…
April 5, 2020 Study Shows the Most Played Video Game of the Quarantine is ‘Try Not to Cum Challenge’ Study Shows the Most Played Video Game of the Quarantine is ‘Try Not to Cum Challenge’ NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has revealed that the most played video game of the COVID-19 pandemic is the pornographic ‘Try…
February 23, 2020 J.K. Rowling Reveals Harry Potter Would Vote for Michael Bloomberg in Obvious Advertising Campaign J.K. Rowling Reveals Harry Potter Would Vote for Michael Bloomberg in Obvious Advertising Campaign LONDON — In what fans are calling the most pathetic example of Michael Bloomberg’s viral campaign advertising, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has announced on…
November 23, 2019 dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump WASHINGTON — Famed cursed twitter account @dril became a conservative icon this morning after being retweeted by President Donald Trump, in what experts say may…
July 20, 2019 Man Sick of Elevator Masking Loading Screen on the Way to Deadend Job Man Sick of Elevator Masking Loading Screen on the Way to Deadend Job CLEVELAND — Gamer Conrad Verner was reportedly sick of the constant loading screens he has to endure each morning on his way to his office…
June 29, 2019 Waluigi Won’t Be in Smash Bros Until He Solves Israel-Palestine Conflict, Says Sakurai Waluigi Won’t Be in Smash Bros Until He Solves Israel-Palestine Conflict, Says Sakurai TOKYO — Rubbing his face in frustration, Masahiro Sakurai revealed in an improvised Nintendo Direct this morning that the real reason he will not put…
