March 6, 2020 Everyone on Space Flight Murdered by Man’s Emotional Support Xenomorph Everyone on Space Flight Murdered by Man’s Emotional Support Xenomorph SOMEWHERE BETWEEN EARTH AND LV-462 — The Weyland-Yutani Corporation has found themselves under intense scrutiny after a xenomorph alien slaughtered the passengers and crew of…
July 25, 2019 ‘I’m Funny’ Thinks Man Hitting Send on Tweet That Will Ruin His Life ‘I’m Funny’ Thinks Man Hitting Send on Tweet That Will Ruin His Life BOSTON — Blissfully unaware of the drastic ramifications the action would soon wreak upon him, local man Elliott Cole recently hit send on a “hilarious”…
May 9, 2019 Mom Could Have Made Video Game at Home for Cheaper Mom Could Have Made Video Game at Home for Cheaper HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Following a request from her son for the purchase of Tom Clancy’s The Division 2, local mom Heather Clark stated that she…
February 27, 2019 Donald Trump SWATs Michael Cohen Hearing Donald Trump SWATs Michael Cohen Hearing WASHINGTON — The Congressional Testimony of President Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen was dramatically interrupted by a SWAT unit who reportedly received a call by…
August 23, 2018 Guy Waiting for Right Moment to Ask How Dead Cousin’s Game Collection Being Divvied Up Guy Waiting for Right Moment to Ask How Dead Cousin’s Game Collection Being Divvied Up ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Following the recent death of his cousin Jake Geller, local gamer Dave Adler has been contemplating the best time to ask who…
July 29, 2018 Free-to-Play Indie Game Hits 1 Million Users Just Kind of Keeping It In Steam Library Free-to-Play Indie Game Hits 1 Million Users Just Kind of Keeping It In Steam Library BETHESDA, Md. — Larkin’s Quest, a critically acclaimed, free to download Steam game reached the historic milestone of one million downloads by people who will…
