November 22, 2017 Military Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play With Military Drone Pilot Gives Trump Unplugged Controller to Play With WASHINGTON — Military drone pilot 1st Lt. Juan Herrera was ordered by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to give President Trump a Wiimote…
November 20, 2017 Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every ’90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children ride over-sized game pieces into…
November 13, 2017 I Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please Help I Quit My Day Job to Spend Two Years Coding My Dream Game! It Fucking Sucks, Please Help Just two years ago, I was stuck in a 40 hour-a-week, 100K-a-year job with amazing health benefits. Sure, it was really satisfying and my…
October 13, 2017 Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the infamous landfill containing cartridges of…
October 6, 2017 Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had developed an interest in the…
August 23, 2017 Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
July 31, 2017 The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…
