June 27, 2020 Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him LOS ANGELES — In a twist that has put his return to movies into troubling context, beloved 80’s and 90’s film star Rick Moranis has…
June 20, 2020 Hello Fellow Japanimation Fans! I Have Some Content for You! Hello Fellow Japanimation Fans! I Have Some Content for You! Konnichiwa, minna-san! Netflix Producer-Chan here. I have some very sugoi news that I wanted to tell you about myself personally, because my excitement is well…
June 13, 2020 My List of 45 Things a Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary My List of 45 Things a Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary Thanks to the virtue signaling politics of Hollywood, it seems that gays in modern media are harder to avoid than ever. Just last week, I…
April 27, 2020 Fans Upset ‘The Last of Us Part II’ Leaks are Not Exclusive to PlayStation Owners Fans Upset ‘The Last of Us Part II’ Leaks are Not Exclusive to PlayStation Owners SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Fans of the series were shocked today when a plethora of The Last Of Us II footage was leaked to the…
April 17, 2020 Opinion: You’re Fucking Mafia, Dude Opinion: You’re Fucking Mafia, Dude Listen, we’ve all gotten to know each other pretty well since college orientation started, and you seem like a really nice person. We’ve had a…
April 16, 2020 Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way the Xbox Series X could…
April 12, 2020 AI Programmed to Play ‘Fallout 76’ Has Learned to Ask for Different Game AI Programmed to Play ‘Fallout 76’ Has Learned to Ask for Different Game BERKELY, Calif. — After six weeks of playing Fallout 76, an artificial intelligence affectionately nicknamed “Master” reportedly taught itself how to access the console and…
March 30, 2020 Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons to take on a boss…
March 27, 2020 UBI to Be Distributed Over Daily Login Bonus on Whitehouse.gov UBI to Be Distributed Over Daily Login Bonus on Whitehouse.gov WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via a daily login bonus on…
