February 27, 2021 Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat LOS ANGELES — Paramount’s troubled Dungeons & Dragons adaptation hit yet another roadblock today after lead Chris Pine chose Charisma as his dump stat during…
October 13, 2020 God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name HEAVEN — Our Heavenly Father was overwhelmed with laughter after watching Illinois native Bobby Kenworth use the word “final” in a new video file name…
September 20, 2020 Raccoon City Police Department Bans Controversial ‘Move While Aiming’ Technique Raccoon City Police Department Bans Controversial ‘Move While Aiming’ Technique RACCOON CITY — The embattled Raccoon Police Department has officially banned the force’s unpopular ‘move while aiming,’ technique, Chief of Police Brian Irons confirmed today.…
April 13, 2020 Early-Level Boss Picks up Extra Shift as Mid-Game Enemy Early-Level Boss Picks up Extra Shift as Mid-Game Enemy LORDRAN — The Capra Demon, a challenging boss of the early Lower Undead Burg area in Dark Souls, has been seen picking up extra shifts…
April 10, 2020 Review: ‘Resident Evil 3’ Failed to Deliver One Scare After We Muted It and Turned on All the Lights Review: ‘Resident Evil 3’ Failed to Deliver One Scare After We Muted It and Turned on All the Lights Resident Evil 3 is the latest remake in the sprawling, allegedly scary franchise, and, on the surface, picks up where last year’s masterful Resident Evil…
January 27, 2020 New Spencer’s Gifts Policy Requires Adults Be Accompanied by a 13-Year-Old New Spencer’s Gifts Policy Requires Adults Be Accompanied by a 13-Year-Old EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, N.J. — In a sweeping policy change, popular mall retailer Spencer Gifts announced today all shoppers at their signature Spencer’s stores over…
December 17, 2019 Critical Role on Indefinite Hiatus After Matt Mercer Joins Thursday Night Intramural Team Critical Role on Indefinite Hiatus After Matt Mercer Joins Thursday Night Intramural Team LOS ANGELES — Matt Mercer, Dungeon Master and face of the hugely popular Critical Role series, announced today that the show would be on indefinite…
November 27, 2019 Tearful Todd Howard Leaves Barely Finished Game in Basket at Modder’s Front Door Tearful Todd Howard Leaves Barely Finished Game in Basket at Modder’s Front Door ROCKVILLE, Md. — Todd Howard was seen tearfully leaving a barely finished video game in a basket at a modder’s house late at night last…
October 23, 2019 Overly Cautious D&D Party Still in Starting Tavern After 10 Sessions Overly Cautious D&D Party Still in Starting Tavern After 10 Sessions MADISON, Wis. — An overly cautious Dungeons & Dragons party is reportedly still lingering in the Purple Pig Tavern, the location where their campaign began…
