August 10, 2020 Fans Furious After Sony Confirms PS2 Will Not Be Forward Compatible With PS5 Games Fans Furious After Sony Confirms PS2 Will Not Be Forward Compatible With PS5 Games SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation fans worldwide erupted in fury today, following Sony’s shock announcement that classic gaming system PlayStation 2 would not be forward…
June 25, 2020 Mom Has Phone Font Set to One Letter Per Screen Mom Has Phone Font Set to One Letter Per Screen METUCHEN, N.J. — After months of struggling to read her iPhone 7, local mother Deborah Freidhof finally adjusted the font size to show one letter…
May 17, 2020 Masterclass Slashes Ad Budget Down to $20 Trillion Masterclass Slashes Ad Budget Down to $20 Trillion SAN FRANCISCO — Citing the economic fallout from the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, online education platform Masterclass has announced that the company will slash its advertising…
November 22, 2019 Report: Only 9% of Voters Think Joe Biden Could Defeat John Cena and The Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match Report: Only 9% of Voters Think Joe Biden Could Defeat John Cena and The Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match WASHINGTON — In a sharp rebuke towards his flagging candidacy, only 9% of Democratic voters believe Joe Biden could defeat John Cena and The Undertaker…
September 29, 2019 For Sale: Second Controller, Never Played For Sale: Second Controller, Never Played CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Local gamer James Milken posted a gut-wrenchingly sad Craigslist ad for his unused second controller, multiple sources distant from Milken confirmed. …
September 27, 2019 Paramedic Fixes Gamer by Blowing Into Him a Few Times Paramedic Fixes Gamer by Blowing Into Him a Few Times PEARL RIVER, N.Y. — Local paramedic Amy Rivera tried to resuscitate an unresponsive gamer this morning by blowing into him a few times, multiple bystanders…
September 9, 2019 Hypno Who Once Dreamt of Being Great Pokemon Given Fourth HM Move Hypno Who Once Dreamt of Being Great Pokemon Given Fourth HM Move KANTO REGION — A local Hypno who once dreamt of Elite Four glory was assigned a fourth and final HM move the dejected Pokémon confirmed. …
August 7, 2019 Co-Worker Spawn Camping Donuts at Work Co-Worker Spawn Camping Donuts at Work TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Social media manager Eric Lomax has been habitually spawn camping the complimentary donuts at his office, numerous aggravated sources confirmed. “I figured…
