September 8, 2019 Glass Joe Decapitated in MMA Debut Glass Joe Decapitated in MMA Debut NEW YORK — Longtime fan favorite amateur boxer Glass Joe was tragically killed less than a minute into his mixed martial arts debut, horrified sources…
August 31, 2019 Barber Doesn’t Know What the Fuck Guile is Talking About Barber Doesn’t Know What the Fuck Guile is Talking About METRO CITY — A barber at Long Cuts barbershop has reportedly been left confused by legendary martial arts competitor Guile’s description of his desired haircut.…
August 16, 2019 Nintendo Announces All Mario to be Paper by 2025 Nintendo Announces All Mario to be Paper by 2025 KYOTO, Japan — In an effort to combat the upcoming environmental changes expected to take place in the Mushroom Kingdom, Nintendo announced today that all…
August 16, 2019 New Video Game Heavily Rumored New Video Game Heavily Rumored THE CITY — The media is abuzz over escalating rumors of a new software announcement coming from the world of video games, several reports have…
August 15, 2019 Fan of Thing Bad Fan of Thing, Says Fan of Thing Fan of Thing Bad Fan of Thing, Says Fan of Thing NEW YORK — Larry Duckworth, fan of an undetermined hobby and/or franchise, reportedly informed Jacob Gallow that he was an inferior fan of the very…
August 15, 2019 RANKED: All 5 MCU Villains We Can Remember RANKED: All 5 MCU Villains We Can Remember Spider-Man:Far From Home is the 23rd film in Marvel’s Cinematic Universe. With all of those movies to think about, we thought this would be a…
August 6, 2019 160 Million Americans Added to Suspected Terrorist List 160 Million Americans Added to Suspected Terrorist List WASHINGTON — The United States government has added the over 160 million Americans that play video games to a growing list of those likely to…
July 20, 2019 Mark Hamill Cosplayer Spends Entire Convention on Twitter Mark Hamill Cosplayer Spends Entire Convention on Twitter SAN DIEGO — A devoted Mark Hamill impersonator has reportedly spent the entirety of this weekend’s San Diego Comic Con using Twitter, refusing to break…
July 15, 2019 Free Game Somehow a Rip-Off Free Game Somehow a Rip-Off SAN FRANCISCO — An unsolicited online review has put forth the controversial opinion that a game which required no monetary commitment to play was somehow…
