October 22, 2020 GameStop Introduces Curbside Pestering GameStop Introduces Curbside Pestering GRAPEVINE, Texas — As the COVID-19 pandemic continues with no signs of slowing down, GameStop has announced that its patented insufferable brand of customer service…
October 21, 2020 Jeb Bush Picks Horrible Night to Start Twitch Channel Jeb Bush Picks Horrible Night to Start Twitch Channel TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Famously unremarkable politician and former presidential nominee Jeb Bush began his new Twitch stream tonight in an unprecedented failure, debuting the same…
October 13, 2020 Microsoft Introduces Donnie and Luca, the Two Guys Who’ll Be Going Around Collecting Xbox Payments Microsoft Introduces Donnie and Luca, the Two Guys Who’ll Be Going Around Collecting Xbox Payments REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft revealed some further details about its new payment plans for its upcoming next generation consoles, introducing Donnie and Luca, two employees…
October 8, 2020 Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts MIAMI — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk surprised the skateboarding community after winning a tournament by successfully convincing the judges to let him start over consequence-free…
October 8, 2020 New Study Finds Crows Really Wish They Could Play Video Games New Study Finds Crows Really Wish They Could Play Video Games DOWNERS GROVE, Ill. — A study by scientists at Midwestern University has revealed that not only are crows capable of sensory consciousness, but that they…
September 25, 2020 Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out TUCSON, Ariz. — A recent installment of Nintendo’s Direct series of videos showcasing upcoming software coming to their platform has one gamer particularly elated about…
September 24, 2020 Amazon’s Luna Threatens to Put Final Nail in Mom and Pop Cloud Based Gaming Services Amazon’s Luna Threatens to Put Final Nail in Mom and Pop Cloud Based Gaming Services SAND LAKE, Mich. — Amazon surprised the world today with its announcement of Luna, the cloud based gaming service expected to be the final blow…
September 16, 2020 We Finally Know What the New Sony Console Will Be Called We Finally Know What the New Sony Console Will Be Called TOKYO — Years of speculation by fans and industry insiders alike were put to rest today as Sony finally revealed the name of their new…
September 10, 2020 Contrarian Having Great 2020 Contrarian Having Great 2020 PHOENIX — Despite his entire social circle being overcome with anxiety, dread, and financial instability for most of the calendar year thus far, unwavering contrarian…
