Mark Roebuck

Excuse Me, My Son Purchased Some of Your Bathwater and Never Received It

Excuse me, I don’t usually do this kind of thing, and while I certainly hate to complain, my little son…

3 years ago

Gaming Session Meant to Blow Off Steam Just Makes Everything Worse

SAN DIEGO — Local gamer Trevor Ingram’s plan to just, like, chill out for a little while and play some…

3 years ago

Insufferable No Man’s Sky Fan Liked It Better When It Sucked

OKLAHOMA CITY — A smug fan of space exploration simulator No Man’s Sky reportedly preferred the initial version of the…

3 years ago

Nintendo Announces They’ve Changed Their Mind About the N64 Stuff

REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo announced today that they’ve abruptly changed their minds and will not in fact be adding long-awaited…

3 years ago

Uninspired Jason Voorhees Buys Gun

CRYSTAL LAKE — A number of concerned locals have reportedly witnessed famed local murderer Jason Voorhees filling out the appropriate…

3 years ago

Naked Guy at Con Insists He’s Cosplaying Terminator

NEW YORK — A nude man causing a commotion at a recent New York Comic Con repeatedly assured witnesses and…

3 years ago

Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Googles “New Metroid Bad”

ARLINGTON, Va. — Local gamer Roderick Pierce, who currently does not have $60, was recently seen googling the phrase “New…

3 years ago

Windows 11 Review: Where the Fuck Is Space Cadet 3D Pinball?

Microsoft has released its highly publicized, widely scrutinized newest operating system, an update to its pioneering software simply called Windows…

3 years ago

Gamer’s Friends Unsure Why He Needs to Own Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack on Vinyl

DETROIT — A recent gathering of friends at local gamer Matt Salazar’s house led them to wonder amongst themselves why…

3 years ago