Mark Roebuck

Mark Roebuck

Excuse Me, My Son Purchased Some of Your Bathwater and Never Received ItExcuse Me, My Son Purchased Some of Your Bathwater and Never Received It

Excuse Me, My Son Purchased Some of Your Bathwater and Never Received It

Excuse me, I don’t usually do this kind of thing, and while I certainly hate to complain, my little son…

4 years ago
Gaming Session Meant to Blow Off Steam Just Makes Everything WorseGaming Session Meant to Blow Off Steam Just Makes Everything Worse

Gaming Session Meant to Blow Off Steam Just Makes Everything Worse

SAN DIEGO — Local gamer Trevor Ingram’s plan to just, like, chill out for a little while and play some…

4 years ago
Insufferable No Man’s Sky Fan Liked It Better When It SuckedInsufferable No Man’s Sky Fan Liked It Better When It Sucked

Insufferable No Man’s Sky Fan Liked It Better When It Sucked

OKLAHOMA CITY — A smug fan of space exploration simulator No Man’s Sky reportedly preferred the initial version of the…

4 years ago
Nintendo Announces They’ve Changed Their Mind About the N64 StuffNintendo Announces They’ve Changed Their Mind About the N64 Stuff

Nintendo Announces They’ve Changed Their Mind About the N64 Stuff

REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo announced today that they’ve abruptly changed their minds and will not in fact be adding long-awaited…

4 years ago
Uninspired Jason Voorhees Buys GunUninspired Jason Voorhees Buys Gun

Uninspired Jason Voorhees Buys Gun

CRYSTAL LAKE — A number of concerned locals have reportedly witnessed famed local murderer Jason Voorhees filling out the appropriate…

4 years ago
Naked Guy at Con Insists He’s Cosplaying TerminatorNaked Guy at Con Insists He’s Cosplaying Terminator

Naked Guy at Con Insists He’s Cosplaying Terminator

NEW YORK — A nude man causing a commotion at a recent New York Comic Con repeatedly assured witnesses and…

4 years ago
Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Googles “New Metroid Bad”Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Googles “New Metroid Bad”

Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Googles “New Metroid Bad”

ARLINGTON, Va. — Local gamer Roderick Pierce, who currently does not have $60, was recently seen googling the phrase “New…

4 years ago
Windows 11 Review: Where the Fuck Is Space Cadet 3D Pinball?Windows 11 Review: Where the Fuck Is Space Cadet 3D Pinball?

Windows 11 Review: Where the Fuck Is Space Cadet 3D Pinball?

Microsoft has released its highly publicized, widely scrutinized newest operating system, an update to its pioneering software simply called Windows…

4 years ago
Gamer’s Friends Unsure Why He Needs to Own Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack on VinylGamer’s Friends Unsure Why He Needs to Own Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack on Vinyl

Gamer’s Friends Unsure Why He Needs to Own Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack on Vinyl

DETROIT — A recent gathering of friends at local gamer Matt Salazar’s house led them to wonder amongst themselves why…

4 years ago