Mark Roebuck

Santa Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics Card

NORTH POLE — Saint Nick is reportedly in a very tight spot as bitcoin miners continue to snatch up all…

3 years ago

Gun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are Playing

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A diehard gun-loving couple has reportedly grown very concerned over the overly cute video games their…

3 years ago

Air Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship Game

FERNFIELD, Wash. — Tragedy struck in the regional basketball quarterfinals last night, as the Lincoln Beavers not only beat the…

3 years ago

Retired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat Announcer

OUTWORLD — After a string of concussions forced him to retire suddenly from competition, Mortal Kombat favorite Sub-Zero has been…

3 years ago

EA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for Minute

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — A group of EA employees has staged a walkout this afternoon, citing no further demands than…

3 years ago

Q-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros Tonight

DALLAS — A staunch believer in the ongoing Q conspiracy has spent the day swearing to his friends that John…

3 years ago

Seeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 Month

NEW YORK — Shortly after disclosing a disappointing quarterly loss of $520 million, executives at NBC Universal revealed a daring…

3 years ago

Considerate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been Playing

OSLO, Norway — A recently released RPG video game is garnering rave reviews for omitting what most games in the…

3 years ago

Sakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few Years

KYOTO, Japan — Game designer Masahiro Sakurai has revealed what his next project will be following his work on the…

3 years ago