Mark Roebuck

Mark Roebuck

Santa Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics CardSanta Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics Card

Santa Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics Card

NORTH POLE — Saint Nick is reportedly in a very tight spot as bitcoin miners continue to snatch up all…

4 years ago
Gun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are PlayingGun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are Playing

Gun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are Playing

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A diehard gun-loving couple has reportedly grown very concerned over the overly cute video games their…

4 years ago
Air Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship GameAir Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship Game

Air Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship Game

FERNFIELD, Wash. — Tragedy struck in the regional basketball quarterfinals last night, as the Lincoln Beavers not only beat the…

4 years ago
Retired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat AnnouncerRetired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat Announcer

Retired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat Announcer

OUTWORLD — After a string of concussions forced him to retire suddenly from competition, Mortal Kombat favorite Sub-Zero has been…

4 years ago
EA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for a MinuteEA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for a Minute

EA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for Minute

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — A group of EA employees has staged a walkout this afternoon, citing no further demands than…

4 years ago
Q-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros TonightQ-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros Tonight

Q-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros Tonight

DALLAS — A staunch believer in the ongoing Q conspiracy has spent the day swearing to his friends that John…

4 years ago
Seeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 a MonthSeeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 a Month

Seeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 Month

NEW YORK — Shortly after disclosing a disappointing quarterly loss of $520 million, executives at NBC Universal revealed a daring…

4 years ago
Considerate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been PlayingConsiderate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been Playing

Considerate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been Playing

OSLO, Norway — A recently released RPG video game is garnering rave reviews for omitting what most games in the…

4 years ago
Sakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few YearsSakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few Years

Sakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few Years

KYOTO, Japan — Game designer Masahiro Sakurai has revealed what his next project will be following his work on the…

4 years ago