Mark Roebuck

We Broke Down the PlayStation 5 Prototype and Did Our Best to Put it Back Together Before Sony Came Back

There is no more feverish time in the world of video games than the dawn of a new generation of…

5 years ago

We Asked Kirby Why He Doesn’t Just Turn Into Endangered Species and Fuck Them

DREAM LAND — A recent sit down interview with Nintendo superstar Kirby revealed some insights into a decades long career…

5 years ago

New Indie Game Just Lets You Lay in Damn Field for a While, Doesn’t That Sound Nice?

SEATTLE — An upcoming minmalist independent game, fields, imagines an open world where you forgo any exploration whatsoever and just…

5 years ago

Bloomberg Uses Money Cheat Code to Access Debate Stage

LAS VEGAS —  Alleged Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has reportedly exploited a cheat code which converts his collected funds…

5 years ago

Bruce Willis to Portray Asshole in Upcoming Documentary

LOS ANGELES — Famed thespian and total dickhead Bruce Willis will reportedly appear alongside several other interviewees in Good Fellas…

5 years ago

R2-D2 Suddenly Remembers Bunch of Cool Shit It Can Do

LOTHAL — Just as he and his friends were almost certainly doomed while trying to escape a secret base of…

5 years ago

NFL Blitz Simulation Predicts Super Bowl 54 to be Most Violent of All Time

MIAMI GARDENS, Fla. — A group of analysts have simulated this year’s Super Bowl using NFL Blitz for the Nintendo…

5 years ago

Skynet Sends T-800 Back in Time to Clean Up ‘Terminator’ Timeline

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — Burgeoning telecommunications corporation Skynet has sent one of its T-800 model androids back in time to…

5 years ago

Punk Game Doesn’t Show Up On Time

WARSAW — Taking a page from the musical genre that inspired its namesake, Cyberpunk 2077 has proven its punk credentials…

5 years ago