Mark Roebuck

If We Defund the Police, Whose Goddamn Helicopters Am I Going to Steal?

Hey you ugly motherfuckers! I’ve been watching your pissy little protests and I have just one little bitty question for…

5 years ago

Official ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ Instagram Page Shows Solidarity With Protesters By Saying “Hellllooo!” to All Victims of Racism

The officially verified Instagram page representing the 1993 Robin Williams comedy Mrs. Doubtfire has joined the various brands and social…

5 years ago

New Bike Game Lets You Do Bike Shit

SAN FRANCISCO — An extended preview of an upcoming independent title centered around BMX racing has revealed that it will…

5 years ago

Epstein Documentary Removes Itself From Netflix

LOS GATOS, Calif. — Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich, a highly anticipated documentary about the deceased sex offender and financier, has…

5 years ago

Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last…

5 years ago

Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion

DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson…

5 years ago

Huge Film Buff Hasn’t Enjoyed One in Eight Years

LOS ANGELES — Sources have confirmed that Lance Pendleton, a film major who describes cinema as his singular passion, has…

5 years ago

Mortal Kombat 11 DLC Pack to Include Sheeva, RoboCop, and Dewey From Malcolm in the Middle

CHICAGO — NetherRealm Studios announced the next set of fighters coming to Mortal Kombat 11 today, a collection that will…

5 years ago

Dude Down to Protest Anything as Long as He Can Wear Cool Guy Fawkes Mask

LANSING, Mich. — A protester at a recent demonstration against the state’s pandemic response has revealed that he’ll show up…

5 years ago