February 7, 2020 Star Wars Porn Parody Changes Luke and Leia to Just Step Siblings Star Wars Porn Parody Changes Luke and Leia to Just Step Siblings MONTREAL — Representatives from Brazzers have confirmed that their highly anticipated nine-part pornographic Star Wars parody series will modify the canon so as to make…
July 17, 2019 Guy at Front of Human Centipede Doesn’t Believe in ‘Privilege’ Guy at Front of Human Centipede Doesn’t Believe in ‘Privilege’ MUNICH — Tourist Rich Stanton, who recently awakened in a lab in Germany as the front of a human centipede, has confirmed he does not…
February 12, 2019 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 LOS ANGELES — Tom Cruise released a statement today, after much speculation, confirming he would be running in the year 2020. “I decided it was…
September 5, 2018 Democrats Enlist HQ Host Scott Rogowsky to Filibuster Supreme Court Nominee Democrats Enlist HQ Host Scott Rogowsky to Filibuster Supreme Court Nominee WASHINGTON — Democratic leaders have brought in Scott Rogowsky, host of HQ Trivia, to aid in the filibuster of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, utilizing…
August 15, 2018 Breaking: You Just Lost The Game Breaking: You Just Lost The Game NEW YORK — New reports are coming in that reveal that you, as a result of reading this very article about local resident Kate Sanford…
November 21, 2017 Star Wars Themed Wedding Not Following Canon Star Wars Themed Wedding Not Following Canon SCARSDALE, N.Y. — Guests in attendance at Dan and Beth Miller’s Star Wars themed wedding were outraged to find it did not follow universally recognized…
August 31, 2017 All Female ‘Lord of the Flies’ Remake Somehow Still Fails Bechdel Test All Female ‘Lord of the Flies’ Remake Somehow Still Fails Bechdel Test LOS ANGELES — A leaked script of the just announced The Lord Of The Flies reboot revealed that, despite starring exclusively women, it still managed…
