September 21, 2020 New Zelda Game’s Firm Place in Timeline Leaves Youtuber Unsure What to Spend Next Year of Life Obsessing Over New Zelda Game’s Firm Place in Timeline Leaves Youtuber Unsure What to Spend Next Year of Life Obsessing Over OSLO, Norway — YouTuber Konleith Narvesen is reportedly at a complete loss following the announcement that the newest Zelda game, Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity,…
June 15, 2020 Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away DESERTED ISLAND — Local Animal Crossing villager Ursala has been forced to continue receiving daily harassment on the deserted island she inhabits due to her…
May 15, 2020 Gamer Honors Friend at Funeral With Homie Stock Gamer Honors Friend at Funeral With Homie Stock MONROE, Ohio — Following a time-honored Super Smash Bros. tradition to even the score between players, local gamer and mourning friend Dave Werner took a…
April 25, 2020 Donald Trump Recommends All Americans Inject Themselves With Bleach Donald Trump Recommends All Americans Inject Themselves With Bleach WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recommended Americans inject hit 2004 anime Bleach into their veins in order to prevent the spread of COVID-19, according to…
March 29, 2020 Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc BETHPAGE, N.Y. — After multiple failed attempts at connecting with his son, single father Frank Corbin has reportedly begun to worry that his weekend custody…
March 19, 2020 Grandpa Wishes He Had Used Bathroom Before Having Soul Sealed in Playing Card Grandpa Wishes He Had Used Bathroom Before Having Soul Sealed in Playing Card DOMINO CITY, Japan — After having his soul trapped inside a playing card, local game shop owner Solomon Muto has begun to express his frustration…
November 15, 2019 Review: Pokémon Sword and Shield are Games With Features and I Am Scared to Say Any More Review: Pokémon Sword and Shield are Games With Features and I Am Scared to Say Any More Hello and rejoice, Pokémon fans, because today is the release of Pokémon Sword and Shield! This is our review of it and I can say…
June 5, 2019 Ricky Gervais-Inspired Pokémon Brags When It Evolves Ricky Gervais-Inspired Pokémon Brags When It Evolves KYOTO, Japan — During a 15-minute Direct this morning, Nintendo revealed a new Pokémon, Ratky, a Galar Region Pokémon inspired by British comedian Ricky Gervais…
January 29, 2019 Review: Kingdom Hearts 3 is Damaged by Sora’s Continued Work With Johnny Depp Review: Kingdom Hearts 3 is Damaged by Sora’s Continued Work With Johnny Depp The motto of a Keyblade wielder is, of course, “May your heart be your guiding key.” And yet, for Sora, the protagonist of the Kingdom…
