Liam O'Malley

Liam O'Malley

Opinion: I Feel Safer Knowing Kirby Owns a GunOpinion: I Feel Safer Knowing Kirby Owns a Gun

Opinion: I Feel Safer Knowing Kirby Owns Gun

This week, Nintendo released new footage of Kirby: The Forgotten Land featuring the titular pink puffball character displaying a new…

3 years ago
‘The Matrix Resurrections’ Introduces Third Pill That Turns on Big Head Mode‘The Matrix Resurrections’ Introduces Third Pill That Turns on Big Head Mode

‘The Matrix Resurrections’ Introduces Third Pill That Turns on Big Head Mode

LOS ANGELES — Audiences are split after the release of The Matrix Resurrections, which furthers the Matrix franchise with the…

4 years ago
J. Jonah Jameson Blames Omicron Outbreak on Spider-Man’s Movie ShowingsJ. Jonah Jameson Blames Omicron Outbreak on Spider-Man’s Movie Showings

J. Jonah Jameson Blames Omicron Outbreak on Spider-Man’s Movie Showings

NEW YORK — The Daily Bugle Editor-in-Chief J. Jonah Jameson declared that Spider-Man, and his new film Spider-Man: No Way…

4 years ago
Lil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase OutfitLil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase Outfit

Lil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase Outfit

NEW YORK — Rapper Lil Nas X is reportedly disappointed that the Met Gala was unable to defeat his third…

4 years ago
Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free XboxDivorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox

Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting Free Xbox

MEDINA, Wash. — Desperately attempting to sway public opinion back into his favor after his divorce, billionaire Bill Gates announced…

4 years ago
Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant SomethingMan Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something

Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something

WANTAGH, N.Y. — Local gamer Lawrence Olson has reportedly breathed a sigh of relief following the announcement that the next…

4 years ago
Fans Rage After Learning Post Malone’s Pokémon Concert Won’t Contain All His SongsFans Rage After Learning Post Malone’s Pokémon Concert Won’t Contain All His Songs

Fans Rage After Learning Post Malone’s Pokémon Concert Won’t Contain All His Songs

REDMOND, Wash. — The Pokémon Company has stirred controversy after revealing the upcoming concert celebrating the franchise’s 25th Anniversary will…

4 years ago
CDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip EndsCDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip Ends

CDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip Ends

ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease…

4 years ago
Trump Grants Jeffrey Epstein Posthumous PardonTrump Grants Jeffrey Epstein Posthumous Pardon

Trump Grants Jeffrey Epstein Posthumous Pardon

WASHINGTON — Making full use of his last full day in office, President Donald Trump announced a posthumous pardon of…

4 years ago