April 1, 2019 Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Doug Saunders recently purchased a high-end gaming chair, equipped with advanced technical features, a dynamic cushioning system, and the ability…
January 1, 2019 Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’ Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’ SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation executives announced today that Square Enix’s Shadow of the Tomb Raider will be this month’s free PS Plus game, and…
December 29, 2018 Battletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike Scene Battletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike Scene LOS ANGELES — Production of a new movie based on the iconic Battletoads video game franchise has reportedly stalled due to difficulties surrounding the film’s…
December 14, 2018 Metal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue Script Metal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue Script EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Video game publisher Konami announced a new board game based on their iconic Metal Gear Solid franchise this week. The gaming…
December 11, 2018 Weakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real Life Weakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real Life AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Tim Gilbert is facing criticism from his friend group for focusing on his career and personal life rather than honing…
November 29, 2018 Coding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill Sergeant Coding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill Sergeant ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local computer programming academy CodeBlue has come under fire after hiring a retired Marine Corps drill sergeant to oversee their ten week…
November 18, 2018 Red Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead Animals Red Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead Animals HORSESHOE OVERLOOK — A local camp of the infamous Van Der Linde Gang is reportedly running dangerously low on medicine, which could prove deadly in…
November 12, 2018 City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’ City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’ CITIES, Skylines — City council members approved a budget proposal today that includes funding for a massive freeway construction project which will spell out the…
November 5, 2018 Wikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad Emails Wikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad Emails FREE COUNTRY — Whistleblower site Wikileaks released a massive cache of unseen Strong Bad emails today, sending shockwaves throughout Strong Badia and drawing an angry…
