December 20, 2017 PUBG Voice Chat Wins Oscar for Realistic, Powerful Portrayal of Mental Illness PUBG Voice Chat Wins Oscar for Realistic, Powerful Portrayal of Mental Illness LOS ANGELES — In a stunning first, the voice communication feature of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds has taken home the Best Documentary Academy Award for its standout…
November 14, 2017 Man Grinding Out McDonald’s Shifts to Afford Cool New Sword Man Grinding Out McDonald’s Shifts to Afford Cool New Sword JOPLIN, Miss. — Weapons aficionado Douglas Han has begun taking extra shifts at his fast food job to acquire what he calls his “most badass…
November 12, 2017 Nintendo Announces Two-Cans-and-a-String Multiplayer System Nintendo Announces Two-Cans-and-a-String Multiplayer System KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today the Nintendo String, their new voice-chat product for multiplayer games. The String, a new communication device consisting of two…
October 31, 2017 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at a family get-together last weekend,…
October 23, 2017 Bad Dudes Unwilling to Rescue Current President Bad Dudes Unwilling to Rescue Current President WASHINGTON — Following the kidnapping of President Donald J. Trump by the dreaded DragonNinja, America’s usual first responders—Bad Dudes Steven “Blade” Moskowitz and Joshua “Striker”…
August 18, 2017 SEGA Refuses to Reveal Which Body Part Sonic Puts the Rings In SEGA Refuses to Reveal Which Body Part Sonic Puts the Rings In Despite decades of questioning, SEGA, the producers of the Sonic franchise, have reiterated that they will not answer one of gaming’s greatest questions: Where does…
August 6, 2017 Mega Man Forced to Absorb Power of Squirrel He Ran Over Mega Man Forced to Absorb Power of Squirrel He Ran Over RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — Mega Man was interrupted during routine weekend errands when his van hit and killed a squirrel that had wandered into the parking…
July 21, 2017 Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase SAN DIEGO — Comic Con event staff announced the tragic death of an attendee dressed as 1980s video game protagonist Q*bert today, following a loud, rhythmic…
July 9, 2017 Upcoming Battlefield One DLC Simulates Life of French War Widow Upcoming Battlefield One DLC Simulates Life of French War Widow EA announced a surprise addition to the Battlefield franchise in a press release this morning: a new Battlefield 1 game mode modeled after the lives…
