June 25, 2019 Man Still Depressed Despite Having 15 Different Ways to Play ‘A Link To The Past’ Man Still Depressed Despite Having 15 Different Ways to Play ‘A Link To The Past’ BOSTON — Local gamer Dustin Landry has been suffering from clinical depression for years, sources familiar with his medical history report, even though he has…
June 21, 2019 DEALS ROUNDUP: Save Big on This Nintendo Switch That of Course Isn’t Stolen. What Are You a Cop? DEALS ROUNDUP: Save Big on This Nintendo Switch That of Course Isn’t Stolen. What Are You a Cop? Alright gamers, welcome to the Hard Drive Deals Roundup! Today we’ve got some SUPER DISCOUNTS for you provided you ACT FAST and AREN’T WEIRD ABOUT…
April 24, 2019 1-and-1/16 Inch Steel Ball Factory Announces Layoffs Amid Decline in Pinball Popularity 1-and-1/16 Inch Steel Ball Factory Announces Layoffs Amid Decline in Pinball Popularity KINGSLEY, Mich. — Hundreds of workers lost their jobs yesterday at the Consolidated Bearing factory, the nation’s largest producer of 1-and-1/16 inch steel balls for…
April 12, 2019 ‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism ‘Monopoly II: Aftermath’ Explores Life in Atlantic City Ravaged by Unfettered Capitalism PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro, in a press release today, announced Monopoly II: Aftermath, a direct sequel to iconic board game Monopoly and the most significant…
April 9, 2019 Sekiro Should Respect Its Players and Add Big Anime Titties Sekiro Should Respect Its Players and Add Big Anime Titties From Software’s Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is out and has spawned divisive debate in the gaming community in regards to accessibility to all types of…
March 28, 2019 It’s-a No Fun Being-a Me: My-a Life With Super Mario Speech Disorder It’s-a No Fun Being-a Me: My-a Life With Super Mario Speech Disorder Since I was-a just a boy, I have been-a the only known patient with-a what psychologists have dubbed Super Mario Speech Disorder. My-a life is…
March 27, 2019 Gamers’ Rights Breakthrough: Cory Booker Will Say The Words ‘Video Games’ On Television Tonight Gamers’ Rights Breakthrough: Cory Booker Will Say The Words ‘Video Games’ On Television Tonight ORANGEBURG, S.C. — A leaked portion of one of Senator Cory Booker’s 2020 campaign documents has gamers anticipating an important cultural breakthrough: a presidential candidate…
March 19, 2019 I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until I learned that Bernie Sanders…
March 6, 2019 Bullshit: All the Girls in ‘Dead or Alive’ Are Alive Bullshit: All the Girls in ‘Dead or Alive’ Are Alive I’ve never picked up a Dead of Alive game before, but it’s impossible to escape the flurries of controversy around the game each time a…
