May 9, 2020 Voltron Team Members Have Zoom Meeting Voltron Team Members Have Zoom Meeting PLANET ARUS — The five members of Voltron Force, the team that pilots the super robot known as Voltron, assembled remotely from their homes for…
April 29, 2020 YouTuber Unboxing Dune Board Game Freezes Up After Realizing the Gom Jabbar is Aimed at His Neck YouTuber Unboxing Dune Board Game Freezes Up After Realizing the Gom Jabbar is Aimed at His Neck SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Fans of the YouTube channel DavesCoolGames were shocked after an unboxing video of the Dune board game depicted the channel’s host…
March 30, 2020 New GameStop Program Sends Employees to Your House to Break Any Games You Didn’t Buy Insurance For New GameStop Program Sends Employees to Your House to Break Any Games You Didn’t Buy Insurance For GRAPEVINE, Texas — In an official press release this morning explaining that the new program is for your own good and your games will be…
March 30, 2020 Will The PC Edition of ‘Death Stranding’ Be the Game of 2020? A Transparent Ploy to Get Kojima to Click This Article and Be My Friend Will The PC Edition of ‘Death Stranding’ Be the Game of 2020? A Transparent Ploy to Get Kojima to Click This Article and Be My Friend Amid the COVID-19 crisis, 2019’s Death Stranding has never felt more relevant. When the game was initially released a mere four months ago, its themes…
March 29, 2020 Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — In an impromptu meeting reacting to the release of the latest game in the controversial Satanic-themed first-person shooter franchise, a coalition of…
March 28, 2020 Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader KANTO — Several minutes after being hatched from an egg received from a nearby day care center, a newborn baby Squirtle gained 23 levels at…
March 28, 2020 Gamer Has Heard Good Things About ‘Super Mario Bros.’ But Never Played It Gamer Has Heard Good Things About ‘Super Mario Bros.’ But Never Played It CHICAGO — During a conversation about video games with a friend at a recent house party, longtime gamer Phillip Krieger perked up at the mention…
March 28, 2020 ‘Ring Fit Adventure’ Player Upset to Learn Body He’s Been Leveling Up Will Die in Cutscene Later On ‘Ring Fit Adventure’ Player Upset to Learn Body He’s Been Leveling Up Will Die in Cutscene Later On NEW YORK — Feeling a profound sense of dismay knowing that his effort had been wasted, a dedicated player of the Nintendo Switch fitness game…
March 9, 2020 Reggie Proposes GameStop Increase Business By Including a Free Copy Of ‘Wii Sports’ With Every Purchase Reggie Proposes GameStop Increase Business By Including a Free Copy Of ‘Wii Sports’ With Every Purchase GRAPEVINE, Texas — Assuring his fellow board members that his plan would work just as well as it did the first time, sources say that…
