April 7, 2021 Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable NEW YORK — Scoffing at the disappointing contents of the package he’d just paid $500 for, local man Tyler Lopresti, who just moments ago threw…
March 16, 2021 FCC Recommends Downloading Three Large Files a Day to Keep Internet Connection Healthy and Regular FCC Recommends Downloading Three Large Files a Day to Keep Internet Connection Healthy and Regular WASHINGTON — In an effort to bolster the strength of the nation’s internet infrastructure, Acting FCC Chairwoman Jessica Rosenworcel issued a statement Monday advising all…
March 11, 2021 Twitch Updates Harassment Policy to Foster Creation of New, More Inventive Slurs Twitch Updates Harassment Policy to Foster Creation of New, More Inventive Slurs SAN FRANCISCO — Following a string of community controversies, the popular gaming website Twitch unveiled a new harassment policy aimed at cultivating the development of…
March 10, 2021 Dorian Gray Sells One-of-a-Kind Portrait as NFT Dorian Gray Sells One-of-a-Kind Portrait as NFT LONDON — Handsome young socialite Dorian Gray announced today that he’ll be distributing the digital rights to a one-of-a-kind portrait of himself as a non-fungible…
March 9, 2021 America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the United States have begun to…
January 30, 2021 Financially Savvy Gamer Inks Six Figure Deal Financially Savvy Gamer Inks Six Figure Deal NEW YORK — Local gamer and financial wizard Thomas Kleinman impressed his friends and family with the news that he had inked a deal worth…
January 26, 2021 Scott Pilgrim Game Re-Release Includes Disclaimer Screen Acknowledging That Scott Is a Pretty Bad Boyfriend Scott Pilgrim Game Re-Release Includes Disclaimer Screen Acknowledging That Scott Is a Pretty Bad Boyfriend TORONTO — Fans of the long-inaccessible retro beat ‘em up Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game were pleasantly surprised to discover that publisher Ubisoft…
January 18, 2021 Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games BOSTON — Resolving to himself that things in his life would be exactly the same as they used to be from now on, local man…
January 17, 2021 Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Respectfully ignoring the opportunity to press the X button and skip the entire sequence, local gamer Louis Moore reportedly sat through…
