Kevin Flynn

CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea

ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health…

4 years ago

Reddit User Reports Vile, Horrifying Image for Being Repost

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Physically recoiling at the offensive post currently visible on his screen, longtime Reddit user Derek Lefferts flagged…

4 years ago

358/2 Reasons You Should Play the ‘Kingdom Hearts’ Series

Disney and Square Enix’s whimsical JRPG phenomenon, Kingdom Hearts, may be daunting to newcomers despite its longtime popularity. Each installment…

4 years ago

Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve

NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Nunez excitedly turned on his Switch to download the latest software update for Super…

4 years ago

Lost Red Bull Car Ends Up in Military Parade

PYONGYANG — Confusing intelligence officials who initially mistook it as some unusual model of short-barrel tank, a Red Bull branded…

4 years ago

Geneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of Sheep

EDINBURGH, Scotland — In a huge scientific breakthrough that also raises many ethical questions, geneticists at the University of Edinburgh’s…

4 years ago

Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Onlookers were astonished earlier today as the mustachioed hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, collapsed in exhaustion…

4 years ago

Ubisoft Announces ‘Prince of Persia’ Remake in Effort to Rewind Time to Before They Fucked Up

MONTREUIL, France — As part of their UbiForward presentation showcasing their upcoming releases, French game developer Ubisoft announced that they’re…

4 years ago

Game Not Nearly Difficult Enough to Justify This Many Power-Ups

METHUEN, Mass. — Guessing that he could probably blow through the second half of the game without picking up a…

4 years ago