Kevin Flynn

Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable

NEW YORK — Scoffing at the disappointing contents of the package he’d just paid $500 for, local man Tyler Lopresti,…

4 years ago

FCC Recommends Downloading Three Large Files Day to Keep Internet Connection Healthy and Regular

WASHINGTON — In an effort to bolster the strength of the nation’s internet infrastructure, Acting FCC Chairwoman Jessica Rosenworcel issued…

4 years ago

Twitch Updates Harassment Policy to Foster Creation of New, More Inventive Slurs

SAN FRANCISCO — Following a string of community controversies, the popular gaming website Twitch unveiled a new harassment policy aimed…

4 years ago

Dorian Gray Sells One-of-a-Kind Portrait as NFT

LONDON — Handsome young socialite Dorian Gray announced today that he’ll be distributing the digital rights to a one-of-a-kind portrait…

4 years ago

America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…

4 years ago

Financially Savvy Gamer Inks Six Figure Deal

NEW YORK — Local gamer and financial wizard Thomas Kleinman impressed his friends and family with the news that he…

4 years ago

Scott Pilgrim Game Re-Release Includes Disclaimer Screen Acknowledging That Scott Is Pretty Bad Boyfriend

TORONTO — Fans of the long-inaccessible retro beat ‘em up Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game were pleasantly surprised…

4 years ago

Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games

BOSTON — Resolving to himself that things in his life would be exactly the same as they used to be…

4 years ago

Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Respectfully ignoring the opportunity to press the X button and skip the entire sequence, local gamer…

4 years ago